You are blessed beyond belief my dear.

So it hit me this week, I only have TWO more weeks. I didn't really have to say goodbye last time I left this city, because I knew that I'd be coming back...but here I am facing this very sad reality. 

My past couple weeks here, in pictures:

Kindergarten graduation- Silas, DeMarcus and Selena! :)

The 2nd graduation I went to my first week here, the 5th graders from United Playerz!

Jessica practicing to walk in her heals before graduation. High Heel Walking 101 on Wednesday Nights ;)

Memorial Day Carnival!

Raymond! LOVE this guy!

Memorial Day Carnival- Titus

JUSTIN- The other intern and housemate! We've been going on lots of explorations together.

Jessica and John Michael playing basketball at the carnival.

Tony started a Ro-Sham-Bo tournament.

Tony! This man ends every sentence with 'Praise the Lord'. LOVE him!

Oh Ava

I love Thursday mornings, I go with Justin over to Crossroads to meet with Pastor Mike (so he doesn't get lost on the BART) and I head over to Sightglass, super cute coffee shop and roastery.  These mornings make me feel so alive! Maybe it's just because I don't drink coffee as often (ahh being on a budget!) but I think it's more of waking up early and spending some time with the Lord.

Every Monday Mandi, Justin and I head over to the food bank to do the shopping for Crossroads. This was a classy find- 'Browny Mix'.  There's usually some very unusual things, however some pretty great things as well.

Raymond laying down a beat while Cameron free styles and Raymart keeps the beat. During our nights with the youth.

MANDI- works for SFMO (San Francisco Missions Outpost) one of the ministries associated with Crossroads and the Outpost Church. She leads the groups around that come and stay at Crossroads and helps out with the kids and youth. I also live with her :)

Jessica, 13 years old, made this art display. It says on the bottom- Though the sorrow may last through the night, Joy comes in the morning! Love this girl!

I decided that his hair looks better parted like that :)

Bus Sardines!

Kayaking in the Bay with: Cameron, Jonathon, Robbie, Mandi, Justin, Silas and Titus!

Love those buildings!

Water fountain/playground near the Ferry Building.

Justin and I kayaking...Robbie's attacking Mandi in the back.

Giants game!

The neglected Bay Bridge

Kristyn came to visit me...she made a wrong turn so we went over to Sausalito.

Free day at the SF MOMA!

Every day has been an adventure, which I love. It's been amazing being able to pour solely into these kids and this ministry. We had a sleepover this past Friday night with about 20 of the kids that are going to go to camp in July.  It was a 'test run' to see how they'd do overnight and we had the 5k run fundraiser on Saturday morning.  I honestly do not know how you summer camp counselors do it for 3 months! I might have gotten 3 hours of sleep, those girls did NOT lay still! They all snored too, every single one of them. But it was an incredible experience and I'm so glad that I was able to do it with them.  One of the boys, TJ, asked me if I was going to camp with them and I told him that I was actually leaving in a couple weeks, then he asked when I was coming back and I told him next summer I should be here for the whole summer. Then he asked me what about the summer after that. I laughed at the time and told him I would love to, but who knows where I'll be then. 

Later I thought, wow I don't even spend that much time with this kid, and it was clear that he voiced how much he was going to miss me. 

It's going to be so so hard to leave here, but I'm putting it in my calendar now, in pen...no wait sharpie, that I'll be back here next summer.  I can't imagine not coming back, I love this kids too much, and this staff, they're amazing.

I'm so blessed to be here, in this city, living in this apartment, being able to spend my mornings exploring and my afternoons playing with these kids, it's just SO good!

We pray as a house every Wednesday morning, and every Thursday morning I go to Sightglass, order my cup of coffee and catch up on my one year bible or a devotional.  I've realized the impact that being in prayer or diving into His word on those mornings has on me. I feel so alive after! I want to work on this discipline for every morning.  

We had a retreat last weekend with the youth leaders for Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights to plan out the curriculum for the summer.  They're going to offer music lessons and a cooking class Monday nights (I get to teach the baking portion until I leave) and Wednesday nights we're going to play some crazy games and go on some field trips. Cameron's friend spoke to us over the weekend and he talked about the importance of a name in the Old Testament, about how the meaning of your name is the definition of you, of what God has called you to do. He told us to spend some time with God and ask Him what our name was, the name that God has given us.  Some said Victorious, Leader, Lover, Organizer.  I feel that mine is Comforter.  It was such a great weekend of fellowship, lots of stupid guy jokes and prayer. 

I'm so used to the Westmont ratio of one guy per every 3 or 4 girls, but I've been surrounded by so many guys here, and I've realized that God has definitely answered my prayer to have more brothers in my life.  I feel that I have been challenged by these brothers and I love spending time with them.

The speaker this past weekend also said one thing that really moved me: The same power that rose Christ from the grave is living inside of you.  Soak that in.  

Awaken His Spirit, pray unceasingly, pour out everything to be refilled every day.

Guess who's back?

...back again. Well now that you have the good ol' Slim Shady stuck in your head, let's begin.

Let's be honest, I can't stay away from this city. It's as simple as that. Well I guess it's a little more complex than that, but you get where I'm going.

So I went back and forth in my head trying to decide whether or not to keep updating this since my semester has ended and I decided that since I reactivated my facebook, but never go on there (waste of my life) then I'll keep going on here to inform you social media savvy people what's going on. Or you know, you could text me, that usually works to.

My new point of reference: 3728 Cesar Chavez Street San Francisco, CA 94110
I'm doing an internship with City Crossroads (the after school, recreational youth ministry that is associated with The Outpost Church, where I've been going this past semester and volunteering on Tuesday nights).
So I'm staying at the original church's property (before they moved the service to 6th street), in the Mission/Noe Valley district. Awesome location. I can walk to Ritual, Four Barrel, Phil'z, Tartine, Dolores Park, El Farolito's, Chloe's, Bernal Hill and I'm close to Valencia Street (hipster central) and Mission of course.
I'm living on the top floor with Mandi (she leads the groups for SFMO- San Francisco Missions Outpost, another ministry going on here that Pastor Mike started...this is what Westmont's SBIC comes up on) and our other housemate just got in yesterday from Indiana, his name's Justin, he goes to Anderson University and is going to be the other intern here until the beginning of August.  Pastor Mike and Miss Ann live on the second floor and their daughter and son in law live on the bottom floor. 

For this internship I'll be mainly focusing on City Crossroads, that is working with the youth that come Mon-Friday afternoons/evenings.  The younger kids (K-5) come Tues and Thurs while the older kids (6-college) come Mon, Wed and Fridays.  Each night looks different, as some nights are more relaxed and we just focus on hanging out with the youth, establishing relationships with them, while other nights are more structured and we do lessons or bible studies. 

I flew back up here May 18th and stayed with my friend Sunny who goes to State for a couple days and celebrated her bday with her. We went and saw the Avengers, ate at the food trucks, got together with her aunt and cousin, ate some amazing fish tacos and just hung out. I moved in here last Sunday after church, amidst the bay to breakers chaos going on (google it if you don't know) and hung out with Mandi, Raymond and Robbie for the majority of the afternoon and evening.
This week has been filled with trips to the food bank, a kindergarten graduation, 5th grade graduation and a high school graduation, then opening for crossroads at night. It's been busy and it's finally sinking in that I'm back here.

It's been so nice being able to focus solely on this ministry rather than work, classes, and the other communities that I had formed.  I do miss all of it, but I'm enjoying being able to deepen my relationships with everyone here at Crossroads. 
My prayers are that the time I spend here will not be wasted, that I will be stretched in new ways, be a blessing to this ministry in any way that I can, truly practicing the discipline of setting aside time for prayer and just being in God's presence every day, preparing my heart for the semester to come and asking God if this ministry is where I am being called.

I hope you're doing well and that you wake up every morning ready to pursue God.

Just as you continue to breathe and your blood continues to flow, may you pray just as unceasingly.

Jessica Leaves the City (for Now)

​I came to San Francisco with my only point of reference being the corner of 6th and Mission. The rest of this city was a blur of buses and turns down nameless streets. However with only a few days into this semester, my mental map began to grow. It grew with each new exploration, each new district, each new bus route, each new walk home, each new step. I know the bus stops of the 21 and the 43 by heart, I recognize the faces and the voices that sit across from me every Monday morning, it’s all become so familiar, so routine. I know that when I wake up David will be in the kitchen grinding coffee or looking out of the window in the parlor. I know that Rachel will soon walk down the stairs 5 minutes before class starts in her sweats and I’ll embrace her with a hug. I know that Katie will have a story for me or suggest a new adventure for the afternoon. I know that I’ll walk into work and Natasha will instantly make me start laughing by the song she’s blaring and her dance moves soon to accompany. I know that I’ll walk through the front door and see Maddie peeking behind her computer, there to greet my arrival. I know that Vroselyn will be sitting in the parlor watching youtube videos, fixing her hair and as I hand her a piece of cake she will loudly proclaim, ‘I am blessed in the city and in the field.’ I know that Kristyn will be around the corner, ready for a hug after her workday. I know that Carter will go to bed at 10:30 and yell at me for giving her a hard time about it. I know that around that time Sheldon will begin to cook up some wild and crazy good concoction. I know that Tia will catapult onto her bed and say ‘good night’. It’s familiar, it’s routine.
It took me a while to recognize the feeling that I became overwhelmed with in this city. The feeling that awakened me, that revived me, that took a hold of me. I couldn’t quite grasp why I felt more at home walking down 6th street, with the strong stench of urine being masked by bleach filling my nose at the turn of the corner, with the profanity being yelled from one corner to the next, with men calling out at me, with graffiti lining buildings and drugs being thrown down out of windows. I feel more at home on this street, than I do at the house I lived in for 20 years. Why do I feel at home in an area strewn with drug addicts and poverty, in an area where I’ve found needles next to playgrounds, where families of six cram into 10x10 rooms? While it may not be clear to many, this street is where I feel God moving. I see Him in DeMarcus, a 6 year old boy who gets on his knees every Sunday and prays for his mom to come to church, I see Him in Tony, a 6 foot 2 black man, that cries his heart out during worship with tears streaming down his face, I see Him in Cameron who moved his family into Section 8 housing to be near the youth in this area, amidst the gun shots outside, I see Him in Gwen who has been clean for 8 days and rejoices in each hour that passes, I see Him in this church filled with folding chairs, muddy shoes and baggy t-shirts more so than I’ve ever seen Him in the church I was raised in, filled with pews and straight ironed clothes.
This city has grasped my heart so tightly I do not believe that it will ever let go. However I don’t have to say goodbye quite yet, just until we meet again, on the corner of 6th and Mission.

Labyrinth round 2, affirmation circle and home

I know, crazy I'm posting twice in one week. Don't worry there's a reason behind this madness. I just drank some AMAZING coffee, De La Paz Coffee Roasters, Mission Blend. buh-ommbb. Quite a few of us were reflecting on our sadness to be leaving the quality of coffee in this beautiful city. I mean I cringe at the thought of the so called 'coffee' in the DC, I pray that I will not be subject to that.
In other news, I spent Friday night baking another Texas Sheet Cake, except this time I actually grasped the concept of why it's called a sheet cake, you bake it in a cookie sheet! whoa. hold up. Then I made blueberry muffins at Sheldon's begging, pleading request. Let's just say that I went to bed covered in flour and a mixture of baking powder. Mmm Mmm good.



Saturday, Kristyn, Rachel, Mandi and I went over to Lands End (again) and hiked the Sutro Bath ruins and the labyrinth. I was feeling the Presidio and possibly the bridge as well, however they were feeling food more.  It was a good 85 out. Yes you read that correctly, 85 in SF. We took the 1 down and cut through Chinatown to North Beach and went to this amazing Italian deli (like the little whole in the wall ones with meats hanging from the ceiling) to get sandwiches. Then we went to Washington Square Park (which definitely has the feel of Dolores Park, however a bit smaller and it lacks that oh so pleasant odor of weed drifting around).  Mandi and I left Kristyn and Rachel there and we went back to her apartment.
It's been so amazing to see how God places certain people in your life for a reason. I've barely known Mandi for 3 months, and now we're rooming together for part of the summer.  We've also found that we're alike in sooo many ways and the conversation just comes naturally. I love when God places people like this in my life, I become so overwhelmed by His goodness and blessings. It was surreal to hang out at her apartment and think that I'll be living there in just a few weeks.  With the warm weather outside, it already felt like summer and it was hard to come to terms with the fact that I needed to go back to the house and do homework before work the next day.

Tonight, we had our final 'community worship'.  This turned into a time of many many laughs remembering our times together and quite a few tears as we think about the reality that is facing us very, very soon.  We all went around and talked about our favorite moments with each other.  It was truly a time to recognize how everyone fit into this house, into this family.  I can't imagine leaving, I can't imagine waking up and going down to the kitchen and not seeing David grinding his coffee, or hearing Vroselyn's laugh echoing through the house or Sheldon cooking some new concoction in the kitchen, or Maddie sitting behind her computer when I come through the door, or Katie scrubbing away at the stove and unloading the dishwasher, or Carter forgetting her key and ringing the doorbell, or Tia catapulting herself onto her bed every night, or Kristyn getting low in the kitchen to some ghetto music, or Rachel slowly walking downstairs minutes before class in her sweats and her hair going everywhere, or Natasha laughing from across the dining room table from me at work, not realizing that her music is blaring from her earphones. We've become so close.
I think about all of the change that's been taking place at Westmont and of everyone moving out very soon and I can't imagine having been there this semester. It just doesn't feel right. I found such a beautiful place here, and it's going to be painful to leave.

Home. I mentioned this in my last post, but I can't seem to get it out of my mind. It feels normal to be here, it feels right, it feels like home.  I love that everyday proposes a new adventure, a sense of mystery and excitement.  There are so many hidden aspects to this city it amazes me.  I love that there are so many different districts that offer something no other city can.  Separate they all have their own little quirks and local spots, but together they make up this city; they make it so unique.  I love that I can walk down one street and see 5 coffee shops, the next street a mob of people in front of large shopping centers, that I can pass by windows in Chinatown and see dead ducks hanging while hearing Russian from someone next to me; I love the sound that a Clipper card makes when being scanned on the bus, the small parks, the hiking trails, the huge buildings, the hills, the fact that cars have to park at a 90 degree angle in order not to roll down.  A longing, a loving, a passion stirs inside me for this city. I long to be a light, to be a voice, to be the salt. I long to pour out love in the simplest forms of a smile, a conversation and a granola bar. I can't escape this growing passion, it has captured my soul. I can't run from the faces I've seen, the people I've met, the stories I've heard. I want to be here, I want to be home.

SBIC, the plague and 2nd decade

12 days left?! no, No, NO! *sigh* good thing I'm coming back very soon :)

So I know, it's been hecka long. Like over a month...my apologies, it's been crazy, amazingly busy up here.

SBIC--

LOVE the group that came up here and it was so nice to see my beautiful sisters Paige and Mo leading the trip. Spring Break was pretty crazy. A group from Gonzaga University came and stayed at the Urban House as they were doing an 'alternative spring break trip'. So with Maddie gone I was in charge of keeping the parties to a minimum and making sure the house didn't burn down. Then only half of my house left for the week, so I was trying to juggle hanging out with SBIC, being on call for Gonzaga when they got locked out (they did, many times) and spending time with the housemates. Let's just say I didn't sleep much (then again when do I ever?). But it was great, I wouldn't have changed anything.

Window washing!

While SBIC was here, we spent some time at City Team (an addiction recovery center for men) cleaning everything as their guys had left on a retreat; we went to Alpha Pregnancy Center (a pro-life stance, non-profit organization that recognizes that the greatest reason for abortions are due to finances). I loved this place! They offer classes for parenting, bible studies, counseling sessions, post-abortion classes and marriage classes.  They also provide diapers, formula, baby clothes, cribs, etc. for families.  I loved that they hold a pro-life stance, however they never turn away a woman that is considering to have an abortion.  They also inform the women of what actually happens during an abortion, something that doctors don't typically share before they perform this.  We had some great discussions and were able to help Alpha out by packaging diapers, organizing clothes and cleaning.

Mo trying to tackle some diapers.

We went to Old Skool Cafe (which is now open for business 4 nights a week! yay!) and due to the pouring down rain (ALL week) we couldn't do too many projects that Teresa wanted us to do outdoors. However, Paige, Nikki, Mo, Danielle and I decided to go out in the rain anyways and weed Teresa's garden for 3 hours. SO MUCH FUN! My 4 layers were completely soaked through and we were all covered in mud by the end, however the garden turned out great and now they can start planted strawberries and mint to use at Old Skool. It was so great being able to spend more time with Raymond, Robbie and Mandi that work at Outpost. We've definitely become a lot closer :)

The kids formed their own worship team :)

Silas' birthday!

I had to do some therapeutic baking when they all left :(

The Plague--

So we all knew that it was bound to happen. Lo and behold, I got sick. The week after spring break was hecka busy with school work, we had 4 papers due ( I know, whoa, hold up there). So about Wednesday I started going downhill, then by the weekend I was at my worst. I ended up having a sinus infection and some crazy lower back pain, along with a lot of weird symptoms. 2 weeks, a lot of pain killers and antibiotics plus an ER trip and a doctor visit later, I'm good to go :)

I did manage to watch both High School Musical 1 & 2 during that time. Oh Zac Efron and your awkward solo on the golf course running around jumping off rocks.

2nd Decade--

I hit the big Two Oh! a few weeks ago.

Quickly, I'm obsessed.

Michelle Obama came to town for my special day as well...

No seriously, that's her car RIGHT there.

Got one of these babies for next year.

On another note, I have completely fallen in love with this city.

When the sun comes out...

Labyrinth at Lands End

And the housemates haven't been half bad either. :)

Half Moon Bay with Kristyn

Bus Stop games: Rachel, Katie, Kristyn, David and Maddie

Haitian Dinner prepared by Vroselyn and her sisters

Half Moon Bay- Rachel and Kristyn

Natasha hanging off the roof.

TARTINE with the matching hipsters

Giants Game! Maddie, David, Kelsey and me.

Kristyn, Vroselyn and I!

I've become a coffee snob. Not ashamed though.

Oreo Truffles and Texas Sheet Cake for Natasha's bday.

White chocolate chunk craisin oatmeal cookies

Research Project

Someone left their pants in front of the house...

Kombucha Brewery Tour!

So now that these pictures have given you the inside to my busyness, here's some words to tell you what's going on now.

SBIC was amazing and I really felt God revamping my passion for 6th Street. I've been praying about this a lot and I've decided to do an internship with The Outpost Church and CityCrossroads for a month this summer! It's going to be a crazy busy summer, but that's exactly how I want it. :)

I went home for Easter, for less than 2 days, and I can't even begin to describe how weird it felt. I didn't hear cars or sirens, the water tasted different, the air felt different, I couldn't compost or recycle anything...  I got to thinking about how little my home really felt like 'home'.  I've realized how much more this city feels like home to me. I feel alive here, I feel happy here, I feel God here. I struggled with this for awhile, of how walking down 6th street amidst the strong smells of urine and the profanity being thrown all around me, feels more at home than Orange County.  I feel like salt on this street, I see a brightness coming from me. I've never seen this at home.

I really feel called to this city, I'm not sure how this will play out in my future, but I trust that God has a place for me here, because this city has worn a very soft spot in my heart.

It's going to be hard leaving the communities I've formed here. My housemates, my community group through Reality and everyone from the Outpost. 

These last two weeks I know are going to fly, but I pray that I can soak in as much as possible.