I had a dream last night that I was back at Westmont, surprising everyone right before Commencement. Of course, in my dreams the places never look like they do in real life. Westmont was darker and had a lot more buildings. I ran and ran, trying to get to Emerson to see Claire before she left. Naturally this was that super slow, my legs won't move fast enough running that you only experience in your dreams. After so many hugs and laughs from so many beautiful sisters that I miss sincerely, I woke up to the rain pouring down outside my window and tears on my pillow.
I still can't quite wrap my head around the fact that everyone's still at Westmont, taking classes, continuing to go through the busyness over there. I've voiced this before, and I will again, it's like I'm in a different world up here.
Last week, Brad Berky told me that we had the minimum number of students confirmed for the Mayterm and he wouldn't get the 'okay' until the end of the week. I didn't feel too concerned, I thought hey, God changed my parents' hearts and provided the finances in a matter of a day, He can do anything to make this trip happen. But to tell you the truth, I couldn't picture myself in Thailand in May. I don't know why, I just couldn't, I just had this feeling.
I lifted up the trip to God, I lifted it up while I was running, while I was working, while I was in class. I knew He could make it happen, but I also knew to pray for His will.
I was eating breakfast before class last week and knowing that I'd receive the answer at the end of the day, I lifted the trip up once more, just asking God for a yes or a no. Just then, one of the women in my house came running up to me, she threw her arms around me and sobbed, saying, 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.' She didn't have to explain, I knew what she meant. Her parents weren't going to financially support her for the Mayterm, we wouldn't have enough students to go.
A calmness came over me. I realized that the feeling I had before was God saying 'no, not now. This isn't my timing.'
So the trip's cancelled, but Brad's looking into having it for next Mayterm.
Surrender.
As easy as it sounds to let it all go, it's so hard. Having a dream of going and learning more about what I'm passionate about, seeing God move in my life to open doors back up that had been shut, only to shut the largest door closed again and trusting that He has a greater reason for this...it's hard.
But this week I surrender. I want God's timing in my life, not mine.
Tears.
I love my housemates. We're all so different, with such vibrant personalities but we all fit together beautifully, like a puzzle. We're definitely a family and am so thankful for each of them in my life. On Monday night, we had community worship in Maddie's room. 11 of us, sprawled out on her floor and bed, in a circle. We listened as Tia gave her testimony. I'm not sure if you know Tia or anything about her past, but it's one of great brokenness, abuse, hurt and loss. While it seemed too much like a movie, so unreal with tragedy after tragedy, there was a light behind every obstacle. Tia's story is such a beautiful example of God's grace and Tia herself is a vibrant example of God's love and light. All of us were touched by her story that night. We were moved to tears, and as Sheldon closed us in prayer, a strong bond formed between us and God's presence was strongly felt in that room. Tears. Not of sorrow or pain, but of joy, of blessings because this sister is in our life and is impacting it everyday.
Community.
I've been telling a few people that I'm 'super busy up here, but non-academically busy'. Lex jokingly pointed out that there's nothing new with that. So true.
I love the Outpost Church, serving at CityCrossroads and forming relationships with everyone in the Bible study there.
I love Reality SF, it has so much more of an intimate feel than SB. My community group is amazing, and I love that it's gotten to the point where I'm familiar with everyone now and in on the inside jokes. It feels like I belong...well it feels like a real community.
"When you look at the inner workings of electrical things, you see wires. Until the current passes through them, there will be no light. That wire is you and me. The current is God. We have the power to let the current pass through us, use us, to produce light of the world, Jesus, in us. Or we can refuse to be used and allow darkness to spread." -Mother Teresa
I pray that you choose everyday to produce light to the world.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
hanging off cable cars under the stars, anteaters and ashes
These weeks are just flying, but oh so much happens everyday.
Last Friday, I found out that I was accepted to be an RA for Clark next year. Heyyyooooh!
I can't express how pumped I am to see where God's going to take me for another year in good ol' Clark. I'm anxiously awaiting to hear what section I'll be assigned to. I've already been brainstorming door decs, section events and oh my goodness I cannot wait to get to know 30 new women! STOKED!
Friday night, my community group had a 'film night' as Charlie calls it. We watched 'Centerstage' and ate pizza and cookies and I baked some Snickerdoodle cupcakes with vanilla bean icing from scratch to take over. (be impressed and disappointed that you're not up here to sample this amazing stuff)
Saturday, the rentals came up. We did the whole tourist scene at Fisherman's Wharf and went to the Marina.
That night, I was walking upstairs from the basement and ran into Sara Chao who was on the program last semester. She's a senior at Westmont, I've never seen her before in my life, but we got to talking, made some tea then she asked me if I wanted to go ride the cable cars.
So there we went, around 9:30, riding the cable cars up and down the hills of San Francisco with the freezing wind blowing on our faces as we dangled off the sides. I can't express how cool this experience was, with one foot on the side of the cable car, one arm wrapped around the bar and the rest of me hanging into the street with the wind blowing through my hair and the Bay Bridge alight in the distance. so breathtaking. We stopped at Grace Cathedral (on one of my earlier posts, in Nob Hill) and she showed me that they had a labyrinth outside next to it. Can I just say a labyrinth at night is one of my new found favorite things? Definitely going back ASAP.
And if you don't know Sara Chao, go find her, she's pretty great.
Sunday- I took the parents to Reality, then to Irving Street Cafe, the zoo, the mall and a steakhouse. On the topic of anteaters, have you ever seen one? Not like a cartoon one, like in real life. Such strange looking animals.
That night I spent some quality time in the laundry room working on homework, as there were far too many people in the house (8 extra people for the weekend). I thank God everyday that I'm on a semester with only 10, my introverted self would not have been able to deal with 25 other people roaming around. Anyways, laundry room. I love the smell of clean laundry, and the rumbling sound of the machines operating, perfect homework spot for sure.
Monday, breakfast with the parents, then I took off on my own adventure once they left. I went to Goodwill in downtown and found some sweet deals. 2 VHS's for the house, a book called 'The Quotable Saint', a coffee mug and a member's only jacket all for $11.45. Then I found a pair of nike free running shoes on my walk home. I know, I know, used running shoes sitting on the side of the road, gross Jessica! No hear me out. They're in super good condition, they're blue and they're only 1/2 a size too big. I washed them on heavy duty and put a ton of Tide in, so they look pretty darn new. So if you're still grossed out, oh well. Awesome find as those shoes run close to $100. Got to love SF 'freebies' on every corner.
Tia and I went to see a movie at the Roxie. It was called 'Without', for the SF Independent Film Festival. It was interesting. We went to Mitchell's afterwards, this amazing ice cream place in Bernal Heights.
Tuesday all the busyness of the weekend caught up to me and I got sick. blah. I did manage to grab breakfast with Kristyn, Katie and Rachel around 11. Chai latte, chocolate croissant and granola from this french cafe in Hayes Valley, La Boulange Bakery. yum.
Then I slept until 6pm, but don't worry, I feel great today :)
Wednesday.
For those of you who didn't go to Chapel today and are out of the Christian community bubble, it's Ash Wednesday. I went to a service this morning with Maddie, Kelsey and David at 7:30. It's been awhile since I've been to a Catholic church service, but it was a great way to start the season of Lent with this liturgical, structured service and with the reminder of ashes placed on my forehead.
So this year for Lent, I'm following a devotional that Not For Sale has created. I found out about it from this amazing woman, Saskia, that stayed at the house the first week we were here. She works for NFS in Amsterdam. Anywho, here's the plan if you're interested, I know it'll be a struggle, but a good one. :) Oh and Saskia's blog is also something I recommend checking out.
Today's devotional addresses Isaiah 58 on 'True Fasting' and I just wanted to share this part that Eddie Byun says:
"In God’s eyes, true fasting happens when
we give up our right to take care of ourselves by taking care of those who are oppressed
and in need. True biblical fasting is giving up the bread I would have eaten, and instead,
giving that bread to the hungry. The fast that pleases God is when we use our freedom to
fight for the freedom and justice of others. The greater blessings of God await those who
learn that true fasting is about loving God and others."
I really miss chapel, honestly.
"Now I can trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross."
All day, that's been stuck in my head. Lauren Martin, I'm dying to hear you sing it.
Whether you participate in Lent or not, I hope you take the time this season to prepare your heart for what God has planned for you.
This past week, I've really been taking in opportunities to explore and just people watch. I love people watching. The Sociologist in me comes out too often in this area. Often times, when I know I have time to kill, I'll let my bus pass by (sometimes more than once) and just watch the people walking by or the people sitting near me. We had to write a paper for English last week, and mine has to do with one of my experiences:
Last Friday, I found out that I was accepted to be an RA for Clark next year. Heyyyooooh!
I can't express how pumped I am to see where God's going to take me for another year in good ol' Clark. I'm anxiously awaiting to hear what section I'll be assigned to. I've already been brainstorming door decs, section events and oh my goodness I cannot wait to get to know 30 new women! STOKED!
Friday night, my community group had a 'film night' as Charlie calls it. We watched 'Centerstage' and ate pizza and cookies and I baked some Snickerdoodle cupcakes with vanilla bean icing from scratch to take over. (be impressed and disappointed that you're not up here to sample this amazing stuff)
Saturday, the rentals came up. We did the whole tourist scene at Fisherman's Wharf and went to the Marina.
That night, I was walking upstairs from the basement and ran into Sara Chao who was on the program last semester. She's a senior at Westmont, I've never seen her before in my life, but we got to talking, made some tea then she asked me if I wanted to go ride the cable cars.
So there we went, around 9:30, riding the cable cars up and down the hills of San Francisco with the freezing wind blowing on our faces as we dangled off the sides. I can't express how cool this experience was, with one foot on the side of the cable car, one arm wrapped around the bar and the rest of me hanging into the street with the wind blowing through my hair and the Bay Bridge alight in the distance. so breathtaking. We stopped at Grace Cathedral (on one of my earlier posts, in Nob Hill) and she showed me that they had a labyrinth outside next to it. Can I just say a labyrinth at night is one of my new found favorite things? Definitely going back ASAP.
And if you don't know Sara Chao, go find her, she's pretty great.
Sunday- I took the parents to Reality, then to Irving Street Cafe, the zoo, the mall and a steakhouse. On the topic of anteaters, have you ever seen one? Not like a cartoon one, like in real life. Such strange looking animals.
That night I spent some quality time in the laundry room working on homework, as there were far too many people in the house (8 extra people for the weekend). I thank God everyday that I'm on a semester with only 10, my introverted self would not have been able to deal with 25 other people roaming around. Anyways, laundry room. I love the smell of clean laundry, and the rumbling sound of the machines operating, perfect homework spot for sure.
Monday, breakfast with the parents, then I took off on my own adventure once they left. I went to Goodwill in downtown and found some sweet deals. 2 VHS's for the house, a book called 'The Quotable Saint', a coffee mug and a member's only jacket all for $11.45. Then I found a pair of nike free running shoes on my walk home. I know, I know, used running shoes sitting on the side of the road, gross Jessica! No hear me out. They're in super good condition, they're blue and they're only 1/2 a size too big. I washed them on heavy duty and put a ton of Tide in, so they look pretty darn new. So if you're still grossed out, oh well. Awesome find as those shoes run close to $100. Got to love SF 'freebies' on every corner.
Tia and I went to see a movie at the Roxie. It was called 'Without', for the SF Independent Film Festival. It was interesting. We went to Mitchell's afterwards, this amazing ice cream place in Bernal Heights.
Tuesday all the busyness of the weekend caught up to me and I got sick. blah. I did manage to grab breakfast with Kristyn, Katie and Rachel around 11. Chai latte, chocolate croissant and granola from this french cafe in Hayes Valley, La Boulange Bakery. yum.
Then I slept until 6pm, but don't worry, I feel great today :)
Wednesday.
For those of you who didn't go to Chapel today and are out of the Christian community bubble, it's Ash Wednesday. I went to a service this morning with Maddie, Kelsey and David at 7:30. It's been awhile since I've been to a Catholic church service, but it was a great way to start the season of Lent with this liturgical, structured service and with the reminder of ashes placed on my forehead.
So this year for Lent, I'm following a devotional that Not For Sale has created. I found out about it from this amazing woman, Saskia, that stayed at the house the first week we were here. She works for NFS in Amsterdam. Anywho, here's the plan if you're interested, I know it'll be a struggle, but a good one. :) Oh and Saskia's blog is also something I recommend checking out.
Today's devotional addresses Isaiah 58 on 'True Fasting' and I just wanted to share this part that Eddie Byun says:
"In God’s eyes, true fasting happens when
we give up our right to take care of ourselves by taking care of those who are oppressed
and in need. True biblical fasting is giving up the bread I would have eaten, and instead,
giving that bread to the hungry. The fast that pleases God is when we use our freedom to
fight for the freedom and justice of others. The greater blessings of God await those who
learn that true fasting is about loving God and others."
I really miss chapel, honestly.
"Now I can trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross."
All day, that's been stuck in my head. Lauren Martin, I'm dying to hear you sing it.
Whether you participate in Lent or not, I hope you take the time this season to prepare your heart for what God has planned for you.
This past week, I've really been taking in opportunities to explore and just people watch. I love people watching. The Sociologist in me comes out too often in this area. Often times, when I know I have time to kill, I'll let my bus pass by (sometimes more than once) and just watch the people walking by or the people sitting near me. We had to write a paper for English last week, and mine has to do with one of my experiences:
The Bart Station
Grey, cold cement encompasses the long narrow platform. They wait. Scattered about on benches, leaning against poles, holding up walls. Standing, sitting, shaking; silently, they wait. Cigarettes are lit, smoke engulfs the air. It billows up, then down and disappears. They stand next to each other, share the same bench, bags touch, yet distance has never been greater between them. A humming comes from down the platform, the ground begins to shake, an ear splitting rumble consumes the air. Yet no one looks up. Heads stay bent, focused on the object in their hands. Glazed faces, deep dark eyeliner, pale skin, downturned mouths. Hours, weeks, years appear in their faces. A past not yet told, but so clearly felt. An unspoken weariness takes over. A thick blanket of stillness encloses the air as time slows, as thoughts form behind dark eyes. They sit, they stand, they stare. Silence.
Dark coats, jackets, bags, shoes. A blur of neutral tones: blacks, browns, beige, tan, navy. A yellow hat catches the attention in this sea of gloom. Tattered, worn and stained with a stripe of brown across the top, it bobs in between large black umbrellas, floating across strong currents of heavy raindrops, drowning beneath the weight of darkness, then pulling towards the surface, like a light in an abyss. Carts, suitcases, oversized bags, backpacks strewn over laps. Wheels rattle on the rocky sidewalk as belongings are dragged after feet running. The stillness is consumed by the rush of time, the flash of reality approaching, the weight being lifted from the air. The Bart accelerates toward the station, rumbling the tracks as car after car pass by. A stream of silver and black rush past. Behind the glass they form a large blur. Dark coats, arms reaching for dark bags. Faces begin to form as the vibrations taking hold of the ground soften and the cars lurch to an abrupt stop. They file out, pushing, moving in haste towards the platform, towards reality. Pigeons scatter, bringing a gush of wind sweeping over the cement block. Dirt, plastic wrappers and smoke fill the air. Their feet flock after a departing bus.
One of them stares, not moving. Sitting, watching the collision of feet, wheels and boots along the concrete, funneling into the car ahead. He takes out a small bag of crackers and slowly raises his hand to his mouth. Chewing he takes a few more, scattering them onto the cement in front of him. The pigeons furiously flap their wings in desperation to come to the man’s feet. Pecking in haste at the crumbs offered on the cold cement.
The man rises to his feet, grabs his cart and pink umbrella and gradually makes his way to the departing bus.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
wind blown hair, hummus and laughter
Those three words sum up this past week.
I know everyone said that it would be cold here, but I'm still going to complain, it's cold. Like 4 layers, scarf and boots and I'm still cold. But the cold calls for great coffee, hugs and conversations. That I'll take.
Hummus. I used to hate this stuff. Never saw the point in it, but now that we have about 5 different kinds in our refrigerator, it's grown to be a staple food group in my daily consumptions. (along with dried fruit and trail mix) If you've never had Trader Joe's 'Tahini Sauce' go out right now and buy some. Seriously. I put it on everything.
Oh healthy, organic, fair trade eating, my stomach will not be happy to leave you and return to the DC in the future.
I don't recall the last time I've laughed this much. Vroselyn (the bday girl from the last post) is Hil-ar-i-ous. Seriously. She brings so much life to our house. She goes on these rants and gets all worked up about them and puts so much emotion and starts waving her hands and yelling...I can't even explain it, but it's great. Everyone in the house is usually on the verge of tears we're laughing so hard. She has these great phrases too like, "GET IT!" or she'll put her arm up and wind it back like she's going to hit someone and throws her arm down towards the ground yelling, "BAM!". Then don't get me started on the dancing...
Okay I guess you just have to meet her. Come up here and do so.
I know everyone said that it would be cold here, but I'm still going to complain, it's cold. Like 4 layers, scarf and boots and I'm still cold. But the cold calls for great coffee, hugs and conversations. That I'll take.
Hummus. I used to hate this stuff. Never saw the point in it, but now that we have about 5 different kinds in our refrigerator, it's grown to be a staple food group in my daily consumptions. (along with dried fruit and trail mix) If you've never had Trader Joe's 'Tahini Sauce' go out right now and buy some. Seriously. I put it on everything.
Oh healthy, organic, fair trade eating, my stomach will not be happy to leave you and return to the DC in the future.
I don't recall the last time I've laughed this much. Vroselyn (the bday girl from the last post) is Hil-ar-i-ous. Seriously. She brings so much life to our house. She goes on these rants and gets all worked up about them and puts so much emotion and starts waving her hands and yelling...I can't even explain it, but it's great. Everyone in the house is usually on the verge of tears we're laughing so hard. She has these great phrases too like, "GET IT!" or she'll put her arm up and wind it back like she's going to hit someone and throws her arm down towards the ground yelling, "BAM!". Then don't get me started on the dancing...
Okay I guess you just have to meet her. Come up here and do so.
Continuing on laughter, I love the women at my internship. Natasha and I are always laughing with them. I played Wii sports with one of them today and we ended up dancing and jumping around while playing ping pong, yes ping pong. Okay, it was more of me dancing and jumping, she just laughed at me.
Last night at City Crossroads Kailee (6 years old) was asked to pray over the meal, but some of the boys were laughing before she started so she didn't want to pray anymore. Finally we convinced her to ignore them and pray anyways. The boys again let out a little snicker as Kailee began to pray, 'Dear God, Please make Titus, Silas and DeMarcus stop laughing. (looks up and glares at them). Amen.'
It took all of my strength not to burst out laughing myself.
Smiles, laughter, joy.
God places these in our lives when we need them the most.
Seeing and knowing the environment that the kids live and play in outside of CityCrossroads, seeing the pain behind the eyes of the women at Freedom House and knowing that sitting with them, playing Wii, talking to them, playing handball, wearing silly bandz...can make such an impact, although it may seem so small of an action.
Thank you God for the moments in my life where I can spread your love through something as simple as a smile and a laugh. It amazes me how you work in these ways, establishing new relationships and creating the most beautiful experiences.
I hope you laughed this week until your side hurt and you were gasping for air. I hope you continue to laugh and to spread God's joy through every interaction.
Chinese New Year Festival--
Separated by the Metro tracks--
AIDS Memorial Quilt--
AIDS Memorial Quilt--
Natasha the Giant--
Empty buses at the end of the line--
Antonio and Ryan, new Castro friends--
Friday, February 10, 2012
Eleven Hour Days, the Stanky Leg and Dutch Blitz
Wait I've only been here for one month? no way. not possible.
Feb 2, thursday-
Community Dinner! Rachel wowed us with her Italian cooking skills and made us all homemade spaghetti and meatballs. yum. I made some extra large pudding cake batter sprinkle cookies to go with this (picture not posted because you'd email me for a shipment ASAP). I love this girl, she's one of those that you just want to hug all of the time, and that I do.
Feb 2, thursday-
Community Dinner! Rachel wowed us with her Italian cooking skills and made us all homemade spaghetti and meatballs. yum. I made some extra large pudding cake batter sprinkle cookies to go with this (picture not posted because you'd email me for a shipment ASAP). I love this girl, she's one of those that you just want to hug all of the time, and that I do.
Later that night, Maddie taught me how to play 'Dutch Blitz', a Mennonite card game. So fun, go buy it. After she taught me, I proceeded to beat her 3 times.
Feb 3, friday-
Maddie, David and I went to a Taize prayer night at a Catholic church in Burlingame. I've never experienced anything like it. You enter the sanctuary and all of the lights are off, pitch black, except for a few candles lit in the front. No one speaks, then the music starts playing from a small group of musicians, one on the piano, one with a violin, a couple singing. The whole room bursts into song, knowing the hymns by heart, the lines are repeated over and over, like a prayer. I loved the darkness, the feeling of the hard wood pews, the silence inbetween the singing, the woman in front of me with long white hair singing loudly, beautifully, not missing a word or a note. I guess the only thing I can describe it as, is a Catholic version of Adorn, although I'm not sure if that quite captures it.
David and Maddie: dried fruit, flannel and puffy vests. hipster twins.
Feb 4, saturday-
For our Urban Studies course, we're required to do a 'neighborhood project', so my group (Natasha, Vroselyn and I) are doing ours on the Castro. I went on a free walking tour this morning (2 hours long, who would have thought that there was so much to see in the Castro).
tourguide, her shirt says: 'Welcome to SF now go homo'
Harvey Milk Civil Rights Academy (elementary school), they're having a drag show fundraiser.
Feb 3, friday-
Maddie, David and I went to a Taize prayer night at a Catholic church in Burlingame. I've never experienced anything like it. You enter the sanctuary and all of the lights are off, pitch black, except for a few candles lit in the front. No one speaks, then the music starts playing from a small group of musicians, one on the piano, one with a violin, a couple singing. The whole room bursts into song, knowing the hymns by heart, the lines are repeated over and over, like a prayer. I loved the darkness, the feeling of the hard wood pews, the silence inbetween the singing, the woman in front of me with long white hair singing loudly, beautifully, not missing a word or a note. I guess the only thing I can describe it as, is a Catholic version of Adorn, although I'm not sure if that quite captures it.
David and Maddie: dried fruit, flannel and puffy vests. hipster twins.
Feb 4, saturday-
For our Urban Studies course, we're required to do a 'neighborhood project', so my group (Natasha, Vroselyn and I) are doing ours on the Castro. I went on a free walking tour this morning (2 hours long, who would have thought that there was so much to see in the Castro).
tourguide, her shirt says: 'Welcome to SF now go homo'
I want this skirt!
This just sums it all up:
But on a more serious note, it was very informative and interesting to hear the history, how the Castro became what it is today, why it's known for what it is, Harvey Milk, the Human Rights shop, nude men walking around, and about the AIDS epidemic in the 90s.
Feb 5, sunday-
Super Bowl! Not a fan of football. I'll watch it, but I find no interest in it whatsoever. But Brad invited our house over to his house in Berkeley, and promised pizza, so why not? 9 of us crammed into the Westmont mini van and made the 40 minute drive across the Bay Bridge. We have some big Patriots fans in the house and a few Giants fans, so I was more entertained by their reactions than the commercials. On a side note, the pizza was amazing, deep dish and Chicago style.
That night, we had a homework party, consisting of 8 of us sitting around the dining room table, taking turns playing a song. This turned into a study break, as Vroselyn taught us all how to do the 'stanky leg' and began to dance on the chairs and table. priceless.
Feb 6, monday-
This man was on the bus on my way to work. SF's own soloist, only two strings, with parts held together by gum.
Feb 5, sunday-
Super Bowl! Not a fan of football. I'll watch it, but I find no interest in it whatsoever. But Brad invited our house over to his house in Berkeley, and promised pizza, so why not? 9 of us crammed into the Westmont mini van and made the 40 minute drive across the Bay Bridge. We have some big Patriots fans in the house and a few Giants fans, so I was more entertained by their reactions than the commercials. On a side note, the pizza was amazing, deep dish and Chicago style.
That night, we had a homework party, consisting of 8 of us sitting around the dining room table, taking turns playing a song. This turned into a study break, as Vroselyn taught us all how to do the 'stanky leg' and began to dance on the chairs and table. priceless.
Feb 6, monday-
This man was on the bus on my way to work. SF's own soloist, only two strings, with parts held together by gum.
Can I just say how blessed I am by this internship? My supervisor checked in with me today and after we talked about logistics and how the event planning was going, we prayed for each other. I've never been able to do that in a work environment, and it was so moving and set my mood for the rest of the day.
Feb 7, tuesday-
City Crossroads! I love helping out with the kids on Tuesday nights, and it amazes me how they remember the Bible verses that we teach them weeks later. I have trouble remembering the one from the week before! Their eagerness to learn about God is so inspiring, and I love being able to pour into them every week.
Justin and the beanbag attack:
City Crossroads! I love helping out with the kids on Tuesday nights, and it amazes me how they remember the Bible verses that we teach them weeks later. I have trouble remembering the one from the week before! Their eagerness to learn about God is so inspiring, and I love being able to pour into them every week.
Justin and the beanbag attack:
Feb 7, wednesday-
I have community group on wednesday nights, which means that I leave the house at 7:30am for work, work 9-5, then hang out in a coffee shop from 6-7:30 until my group meets, then I don't get home until around 11. Long day, but such an amazing one.
I sat next to a woman on the bus to the coffee shop, and she was reading her one year Bible. I couldn't help but smile at this action. I love the small things that God places in our lives everyday, may my eyes be more open to them.
I love this community group, although everyone in it is around 5 years older than me, I've always felt that I connect with this age range. When we split up into small groups, we discussed a reoccurring theme in our lives that God continually intervenes in. I was in awe at how vulnerable these women were with our group and how much they shared. No one held anything back and wholeheartedly shared what they were really struggling with. I love lifting these sisters and brothers up in their struggles through prayer and being able to see them every week. Community is such a beautiful thing that God has blessed us with, and I'm so thankful for this group that I've found here in SF.
Feb 9, thursday-
Vroselyn's birthday! The Westmont in SF crew went to SB for the week, so we didn't have class today, which meant not a whole lot went on. It was V-ROS's bday, so I made an oreo cake from scratch, icing and all. It came out pretty darn well. :)
We went out to dinner at a French Soul Food restaurant, since Vros needed her fried chicken and red rice and beans. Never a dull moment with that girl, she's such an uplifting spirit and always keeps our house laughing.
I have community group on wednesday nights, which means that I leave the house at 7:30am for work, work 9-5, then hang out in a coffee shop from 6-7:30 until my group meets, then I don't get home until around 11. Long day, but such an amazing one.
I sat next to a woman on the bus to the coffee shop, and she was reading her one year Bible. I couldn't help but smile at this action. I love the small things that God places in our lives everyday, may my eyes be more open to them.
I love this community group, although everyone in it is around 5 years older than me, I've always felt that I connect with this age range. When we split up into small groups, we discussed a reoccurring theme in our lives that God continually intervenes in. I was in awe at how vulnerable these women were with our group and how much they shared. No one held anything back and wholeheartedly shared what they were really struggling with. I love lifting these sisters and brothers up in their struggles through prayer and being able to see them every week. Community is such a beautiful thing that God has blessed us with, and I'm so thankful for this group that I've found here in SF.
Feb 9, thursday-
Vroselyn's birthday! The Westmont in SF crew went to SB for the week, so we didn't have class today, which meant not a whole lot went on. It was V-ROS's bday, so I made an oreo cake from scratch, icing and all. It came out pretty darn well. :)
We went out to dinner at a French Soul Food restaurant, since Vros needed her fried chicken and red rice and beans. Never a dull moment with that girl, she's such an uplifting spirit and always keeps our house laughing.
God has been doing some beyond amazing things in my life this week. As a few of you know, I was interested in applying for the Thailand and Cambodia Mayterm this year, however when the deadline in November approached, I felt that God wasn't calling me to this now because of finances and timing. Wow I was wrong.
Brad announced last week that there were a few open spots for the trip since they had quite a few dropouts, and how he'd love for any of us in the house to apply. I couldn't believe what I just heard. God opened that door wide open again, when I thought He had clearly shut it. I prayed about this trip, a lot. I prayed for guidance and for vision as to whether He was calling me there. I felt Him strongly saying yes, this door was not opened back up in coincidence.
I knew the only thing holding me back was the money and my parent's blessing. I called my bank, I secured another student loan that would cover the cost, and I sent my mom a lengthy email, addressing their greatest fear, safety. I prayed over this email, for their hearts, for their understanding to see how immensely I wanted to go, to use the knowledge that I'm going to gain here at the Freedom House and transition it to this trip, to further study sex trafficking. Walking to the bus stop after work I received a text from my mom that she was considering the trip and emailing some safety questions to Brad.
I was so overwhelmed with joy. Both of my parents had been extremely against this trip back in October. The fact that their hearts were changed towards it and that they were considering it was unbelievable. Tears streamed down my face as I praised God for how quickly He moved into this situation and turned it for His will. I couldn't begin to form the words to thank Him.
I received my parents blessing Tuesday night and the finances are secure, without my taking a loan out.
I'm so excited for this trip. I know that it's going to be one of the hardest experiences I've ever had, emotionally, but at the same time, I know that God is calling me there, He's made that so clear, and I can't wait to see how He's going to use this knew knowledge that I will gain, how He will stretch me, break me and fill me up in those countries.
My prayer for this week: to see more of God's beauty and light in this city.
Brad announced last week that there were a few open spots for the trip since they had quite a few dropouts, and how he'd love for any of us in the house to apply. I couldn't believe what I just heard. God opened that door wide open again, when I thought He had clearly shut it. I prayed about this trip, a lot. I prayed for guidance and for vision as to whether He was calling me there. I felt Him strongly saying yes, this door was not opened back up in coincidence.
I knew the only thing holding me back was the money and my parent's blessing. I called my bank, I secured another student loan that would cover the cost, and I sent my mom a lengthy email, addressing their greatest fear, safety. I prayed over this email, for their hearts, for their understanding to see how immensely I wanted to go, to use the knowledge that I'm going to gain here at the Freedom House and transition it to this trip, to further study sex trafficking. Walking to the bus stop after work I received a text from my mom that she was considering the trip and emailing some safety questions to Brad.
I was so overwhelmed with joy. Both of my parents had been extremely against this trip back in October. The fact that their hearts were changed towards it and that they were considering it was unbelievable. Tears streamed down my face as I praised God for how quickly He moved into this situation and turned it for His will. I couldn't begin to form the words to thank Him.
I received my parents blessing Tuesday night and the finances are secure, without my taking a loan out.
I'm so excited for this trip. I know that it's going to be one of the hardest experiences I've ever had, emotionally, but at the same time, I know that God is calling me there, He's made that so clear, and I can't wait to see how He's going to use this knew knowledge that I will gain, how He will stretch me, break me and fill me up in those countries.
My prayer for this week: to see more of God's beauty and light in this city.
One of the residents is singing right now: "God you work in ways that we don't see, Oh God make a way for me. He gives me strength for each new day, He will make a way for me."
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Folding Chairs, Crowded Buses and Playgrounds at Night
I started my internship Monday. YAY! I'm interning at the Freedom House (http://www.freedom-house.us.com/). It's a safe house and aftercare program for women coming out of sex trafficking and prostitution. I'm working out of the house (the past 2 days I've been at the dining room table) which has been SO awesome, because I can informally talk to the residents as they're in the kitchen or the living room. I got to speak with one resident today one on one and it has definitely been the highlight so far. She was given a Bible last week and had some questions about Christianity. So there I am, given this beyond amazing opportunity to speak to this woman about God, and I don't know where to begin, how do I start to describe a relationship with Christ to this woman who has been through so much and is hungry for the word? Through God's grace and only by the means of the Spirit, we had a pretty good talk and we read Psalm 5 together. She said that she liked the psalms because she could relate to them.
You hear about victims of trafficking; if you go to Westmont you've heard all about Dave and Not for Sale, but to actually sit in the presence of these beautiful women and look into their eyes, it doesn't feel like a story anymore. The resident I spoke with ended our talk by telling me that she was hesitant to go back to church, but that she wants to eventually, just not now. She told me that she's going to get the Serenity Prayer tattooed on her arm tomorrow. That might not be everyone's approach to God, but I see it as her way of making that next step, of reaching out and seeking more answers, and I can't wait to continue to talk with her and watch her grow.
Last Friday the Aquarium of the Bay was free so a few of us went down to Pier 39 and soaked in the tourist scene.
Saturday I ran (turned into a hike/walk) up to Twin Peaks, the highest point in the city. It was breathtakingly beautiful. On the second peak there was a rock just big enough to sit on, and as I just stared in awe of this city, I talked to God while United Pursuit & Will Reagan's 'Nothing I Hold On To' played through my earphones.
Saturday night a few of us went to an Opera (I know super fancy!). Don't worry, I wore jeans and Rainbows. We met a woman on the bus Friday on our way to the Aquarium and she invited us to it as she was one of the main characters in the Opera, Don Giovanni, performed only in Italian. Once again, we found another free event (score). Sunny and I left after the first half (3 hours of Italian or ice cream?) exactly. But don't get me wrong, it was reaaally good and the woman we met, Augusta, was phenomenal. Walking back to the house we stopped by this really cool playground filled with spinning bars and this huge circle that looks like a tire that spins around.
I can't even begin to express my experience at the Outpost on Sunday. It was one of those times where the Spirit was so thick and moving so freely and beautifully in the room that there wasn't a single dry eye. I watched as men, women and children of all sizes and colors fell to their knees before the cross. A man named Alan who's a resident at City Team, the addiction recovery center across the street, spoke about a vision he has for serving. He told us about his past, growing up in Texas, marrying his wife, having 3 kids...then one day he got a call. He drove to the side of the cliff and looked down to see his Mother in law's car engulfed in flames. He lost all three of his kids that day. His wife and himself came to SF, lived in the Golden Gate Park for 10 years and shot up anything that they could get their hands on. He's been sober for a little over 6 months, and he has a vision for City Team, that if they can serve 1500 meals a week to the homeless in the area, why can't they make that 15,000 by next year?
Tasha raised her hand after Alan sat down and asked Pastor Mike if she could speak. She used to come to the Outpost, but hasn't been in awhile. She's been sober 1 week and 4 days, and she wants to start coming back to the church, she wants to stay sober.
Watching and listening to these brothers and sisters get up and tell everyone about what's going in their life, how they're struggling, how we can pray for them and being so beautifully, openly broken before God and their community. Before the offering every Sunday, Robert prays "Lord we're a poor church, but we're rich in You." Just let that sink in. That's what we should strive for, maybe not financially poor, but we are all so poor in other ways.
I really took in this scene on Sunday.
Folding chairs, not pews. Stretch pants, baggy sweaters, muddy shoes, not suits, ties or heels.
Despite these differences, I feel God's presence overflowing in this small building on the corner of 6th street in the heart of the Tenderloin. I'm not sure if you've watched this popular video on youtube, 'Why I love Jesus and Hate religion'...but there's a part in it where the guy says, 'If Jesus walked into your church today, would he be welcome?'. I couldn't help think about this as I watched men and women dance and spin around, yell 'Amen' and sing 'Hallelujah'.
I can honestly say that I believe Jesus would be welcome at the Outpost.
Walking down the street after church I passed by a man and said 'Hello' and 'Good morning' as I do to everyone on the street, but this one looked at me differently. He said 'Hello' back, then called after me, 'Hey, can you pray for me?'. Standing on the sidewalk, just as I did so many times with Urban Initiative on that street, I put my hand on James and lifted him up.
I'm so overwhelmed by His presence here in the city, may my eyes continue to be opened to these opportunities.
You hear about victims of trafficking; if you go to Westmont you've heard all about Dave and Not for Sale, but to actually sit in the presence of these beautiful women and look into their eyes, it doesn't feel like a story anymore. The resident I spoke with ended our talk by telling me that she was hesitant to go back to church, but that she wants to eventually, just not now. She told me that she's going to get the Serenity Prayer tattooed on her arm tomorrow. That might not be everyone's approach to God, but I see it as her way of making that next step, of reaching out and seeking more answers, and I can't wait to continue to talk with her and watch her grow.
Last Friday the Aquarium of the Bay was free so a few of us went down to Pier 39 and soaked in the tourist scene.
Saturday I ran (turned into a hike/walk) up to Twin Peaks, the highest point in the city. It was breathtakingly beautiful. On the second peak there was a rock just big enough to sit on, and as I just stared in awe of this city, I talked to God while United Pursuit & Will Reagan's 'Nothing I Hold On To' played through my earphones.
Saturday night a few of us went to an Opera (I know super fancy!). Don't worry, I wore jeans and Rainbows. We met a woman on the bus Friday on our way to the Aquarium and she invited us to it as she was one of the main characters in the Opera, Don Giovanni, performed only in Italian. Once again, we found another free event (score). Sunny and I left after the first half (3 hours of Italian or ice cream?) exactly. But don't get me wrong, it was reaaally good and the woman we met, Augusta, was phenomenal. Walking back to the house we stopped by this really cool playground filled with spinning bars and this huge circle that looks like a tire that spins around.
I can't even begin to express my experience at the Outpost on Sunday. It was one of those times where the Spirit was so thick and moving so freely and beautifully in the room that there wasn't a single dry eye. I watched as men, women and children of all sizes and colors fell to their knees before the cross. A man named Alan who's a resident at City Team, the addiction recovery center across the street, spoke about a vision he has for serving. He told us about his past, growing up in Texas, marrying his wife, having 3 kids...then one day he got a call. He drove to the side of the cliff and looked down to see his Mother in law's car engulfed in flames. He lost all three of his kids that day. His wife and himself came to SF, lived in the Golden Gate Park for 10 years and shot up anything that they could get their hands on. He's been sober for a little over 6 months, and he has a vision for City Team, that if they can serve 1500 meals a week to the homeless in the area, why can't they make that 15,000 by next year?
Tasha raised her hand after Alan sat down and asked Pastor Mike if she could speak. She used to come to the Outpost, but hasn't been in awhile. She's been sober 1 week and 4 days, and she wants to start coming back to the church, she wants to stay sober.
Watching and listening to these brothers and sisters get up and tell everyone about what's going in their life, how they're struggling, how we can pray for them and being so beautifully, openly broken before God and their community. Before the offering every Sunday, Robert prays "Lord we're a poor church, but we're rich in You." Just let that sink in. That's what we should strive for, maybe not financially poor, but we are all so poor in other ways.
I really took in this scene on Sunday.
Folding chairs, not pews. Stretch pants, baggy sweaters, muddy shoes, not suits, ties or heels.
Despite these differences, I feel God's presence overflowing in this small building on the corner of 6th street in the heart of the Tenderloin. I'm not sure if you've watched this popular video on youtube, 'Why I love Jesus and Hate religion'...but there's a part in it where the guy says, 'If Jesus walked into your church today, would he be welcome?'. I couldn't help think about this as I watched men and women dance and spin around, yell 'Amen' and sing 'Hallelujah'.
I can honestly say that I believe Jesus would be welcome at the Outpost.
Walking down the street after church I passed by a man and said 'Hello' and 'Good morning' as I do to everyone on the street, but this one looked at me differently. He said 'Hello' back, then called after me, 'Hey, can you pray for me?'. Standing on the sidewalk, just as I did so many times with Urban Initiative on that street, I put my hand on James and lifted him up.
I'm so overwhelmed by His presence here in the city, may my eyes continue to be opened to these opportunities.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)