...back again. Well now that you have the good ol' Slim Shady stuck in your head, let's begin.
Let's be honest, I can't stay away from this city. It's as simple as that. Well I guess it's a little more complex than that, but you get where I'm going.
So I went back and forth in my head trying to decide whether or not to keep updating this since my semester has ended and I decided that since I reactivated my facebook, but never go on there (waste of my life) then I'll keep going on here to inform you social media savvy people what's going on. Or you know, you could text me, that usually works to.
My new point of reference: 3728 Cesar Chavez Street San Francisco, CA 94110
I'm doing an internship with City Crossroads (the after school, recreational youth ministry that is associated with The Outpost Church, where I've been going this past semester and volunteering on Tuesday nights).
So I'm staying at the original church's property (before they moved the service to 6th street), in the Mission/Noe Valley district. Awesome location. I can walk to Ritual, Four Barrel, Phil'z, Tartine, Dolores Park, El Farolito's, Chloe's, Bernal Hill and I'm close to Valencia Street (hipster central) and Mission of course.
I'm living on the top floor with Mandi (she leads the groups for SFMO- San Francisco Missions Outpost, another ministry going on here that Pastor Mike started...this is what Westmont's SBIC comes up on) and our other housemate just got in yesterday from Indiana, his name's Justin, he goes to Anderson University and is going to be the other intern here until the beginning of August. Pastor Mike and Miss Ann live on the second floor and their daughter and son in law live on the bottom floor.
For this internship I'll be mainly focusing on City Crossroads, that is working with the youth that come Mon-Friday afternoons/evenings. The younger kids (K-5) come Tues and Thurs while the older kids (6-college) come Mon, Wed and Fridays. Each night looks different, as some nights are more relaxed and we just focus on hanging out with the youth, establishing relationships with them, while other nights are more structured and we do lessons or bible studies.
I flew back up here May 18th and stayed with my friend Sunny who goes to State for a couple days and celebrated her bday with her. We went and saw the Avengers, ate at the food trucks, got together with her aunt and cousin, ate some amazing fish tacos and just hung out. I moved in here last Sunday after church, amidst the bay to breakers chaos going on (google it if you don't know) and hung out with Mandi, Raymond and Robbie for the majority of the afternoon and evening.
This week has been filled with trips to the food bank, a kindergarten graduation, 5th grade graduation and a high school graduation, then opening for crossroads at night. It's been busy and it's finally sinking in that I'm back here.
It's been so nice being able to focus solely on this ministry rather than work, classes, and the other communities that I had formed. I do miss all of it, but I'm enjoying being able to deepen my relationships with everyone here at Crossroads.
My prayers are that the time I spend here will not be wasted, that I will be stretched in new ways, be a blessing to this ministry in any way that I can, truly practicing the discipline of setting aside time for prayer and just being in God's presence every day, preparing my heart for the semester to come and asking God if this ministry is where I am being called.
I hope you're doing well and that you wake up every morning ready to pursue God.
Just as you continue to breathe and your blood continues to flow, may you pray just as unceasingly.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
Jessica Leaves the City (for Now)
I came to San Francisco with my only point of reference being the corner of 6th and Mission. The rest of this city was a blur of buses and turns down nameless streets. However with only a few days into this semester, my mental map began to grow. It grew with each new exploration, each new district, each new bus route, each new walk home, each new step. I know the bus stops of the 21 and the 43 by heart, I recognize the faces and the voices that sit across from me every Monday morning, it’s all become so familiar, so routine. I know that when I wake up David will be in the kitchen grinding coffee or looking out of the window in the parlor. I know that Rachel will soon walk down the stairs 5 minutes before class starts in her sweats and I’ll embrace her with a hug. I know that Katie will have a story for me or suggest a new adventure for the afternoon. I know that I’ll walk into work and Natasha will instantly make me start laughing by the song she’s blaring and her dance moves soon to accompany. I know that I’ll walk through the front door and see Maddie peeking behind her computer, there to greet my arrival. I know that Vroselyn will be sitting in the parlor watching youtube videos, fixing her hair and as I hand her a piece of cake she will loudly proclaim, ‘I am blessed in the city and in the field.’ I know that Kristyn will be around the corner, ready for a hug after her workday. I know that Carter will go to bed at 10:30 and yell at me for giving her a hard time about it. I know that around that time Sheldon will begin to cook up some wild and crazy good concoction. I know that Tia will catapult onto her bed and say ‘good night’. It’s familiar, it’s routine.
It took me a while to recognize the feeling that I became overwhelmed with in this city. The feeling that awakened me, that revived me, that took a hold of me. I couldn’t quite grasp why I felt more at home walking down 6th street, with the strong stench of urine being masked by bleach filling my nose at the turn of the corner, with the profanity being yelled from one corner to the next, with men calling out at me, with graffiti lining buildings and drugs being thrown down out of windows. I feel more at home on this street, than I do at the house I lived in for 20 years. Why do I feel at home in an area strewn with drug addicts and poverty, in an area where I’ve found needles next to playgrounds, where families of six cram into 10x10 rooms? While it may not be clear to many, this street is where I feel God moving. I see Him in DeMarcus, a 6 year old boy who gets on his knees every Sunday and prays for his mom to come to church, I see Him in Tony, a 6 foot 2 black man, that cries his heart out during worship with tears streaming down his face, I see Him in Cameron who moved his family into Section 8 housing to be near the youth in this area, amidst the gun shots outside, I see Him in Gwen who has been clean for 8 days and rejoices in each hour that passes, I see Him in this church filled with folding chairs, muddy shoes and baggy t-shirts more so than I’ve ever seen Him in the church I was raised in, filled with pews and straight ironed clothes.
This city has grasped my heart so tightly I do not believe that it will ever let go. However I don’t have to say goodbye quite yet, just until we meet again, on the corner of 6th and Mission.
It took me a while to recognize the feeling that I became overwhelmed with in this city. The feeling that awakened me, that revived me, that took a hold of me. I couldn’t quite grasp why I felt more at home walking down 6th street, with the strong stench of urine being masked by bleach filling my nose at the turn of the corner, with the profanity being yelled from one corner to the next, with men calling out at me, with graffiti lining buildings and drugs being thrown down out of windows. I feel more at home on this street, than I do at the house I lived in for 20 years. Why do I feel at home in an area strewn with drug addicts and poverty, in an area where I’ve found needles next to playgrounds, where families of six cram into 10x10 rooms? While it may not be clear to many, this street is where I feel God moving. I see Him in DeMarcus, a 6 year old boy who gets on his knees every Sunday and prays for his mom to come to church, I see Him in Tony, a 6 foot 2 black man, that cries his heart out during worship with tears streaming down his face, I see Him in Cameron who moved his family into Section 8 housing to be near the youth in this area, amidst the gun shots outside, I see Him in Gwen who has been clean for 8 days and rejoices in each hour that passes, I see Him in this church filled with folding chairs, muddy shoes and baggy t-shirts more so than I’ve ever seen Him in the church I was raised in, filled with pews and straight ironed clothes.
This city has grasped my heart so tightly I do not believe that it will ever let go. However I don’t have to say goodbye quite yet, just until we meet again, on the corner of 6th and Mission.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Labyrinth round 2, affirmation circle and home
I know, crazy I'm posting twice in one week. Don't worry there's a reason
behind this madness. I just drank some AMAZING coffee, De La Paz Coffee
Roasters, Mission Blend. buh-ommbb. Quite a few of us were reflecting on our
sadness to be leaving the quality of coffee in this beautiful city. I mean I
cringe at the thought of the so called 'coffee' in the DC, I pray that I will
not be subject to that.
In other news, I spent Friday night baking another Texas Sheet Cake, except this time I actually grasped the concept of why it's called a sheet cake, you bake it in a cookie sheet! whoa. hold up. Then I made blueberry muffins at Sheldon's begging, pleading request. Let's just say that I went to bed covered in flour and a mixture of baking powder. Mmm Mmm good.
Saturday, Kristyn, Rachel, Mandi and I went over to Lands End (again) and hiked the Sutro Bath ruins and the labyrinth. I was feeling the Presidio and possibly the bridge as well, however they were feeling food more. It was a good 85 out. Yes you read that correctly, 85 in SF. We took the 1 down and cut through Chinatown to North Beach and went to this amazing Italian deli (like the little whole in the wall ones with meats hanging from the ceiling) to get sandwiches. Then we went to Washington Square Park (which definitely has the feel of Dolores Park, however a bit smaller and it lacks that oh so pleasant odor of weed drifting around). Mandi and I left Kristyn and Rachel there and we went back to her apartment.
It's been so amazing to see how God places certain people in your life for a reason. I've barely known Mandi for 3 months, and now we're rooming together for part of the summer. We've also found that we're alike in sooo many ways and the conversation just comes naturally. I love when God places people like this in my life, I become so overwhelmed by His goodness and blessings. It was surreal to hang out at her apartment and think that I'll be living there in just a few weeks. With the warm weather outside, it already felt like summer and it was hard to come to terms with the fact that I needed to go back to the house and do homework before work the next day.
Tonight, we had our final 'community worship'. This turned into a time of many many laughs remembering our times together and quite a few tears as we think about the reality that is facing us very, very soon. We all went around and talked about our favorite moments with each other. It was truly a time to recognize how everyone fit into this house, into this family. I can't imagine leaving, I can't imagine waking up and going down to the kitchen and not seeing David grinding his coffee, or hearing Vroselyn's laugh echoing through the house or Sheldon cooking some new concoction in the kitchen, or Maddie sitting behind her computer when I come through the door, or Katie scrubbing away at the stove and unloading the dishwasher, or Carter forgetting her key and ringing the doorbell, or Tia catapulting herself onto her bed every night, or Kristyn getting low in the kitchen to some ghetto music, or Rachel slowly walking downstairs minutes before class in her sweats and her hair going everywhere, or Natasha laughing from across the dining room table from me at work, not realizing that her music is blaring from her earphones. We've become so close.
I think about all of the change that's been taking place at Westmont and of everyone moving out very soon and I can't imagine having been there this semester. It just doesn't feel right. I found such a beautiful place here, and it's going to be painful to leave.
Home. I mentioned this in my last post, but I can't seem to get it out of my mind. It feels normal to be here, it feels right, it feels like home. I love that everyday proposes a new adventure, a sense of mystery and excitement. There are so many hidden aspects to this city it amazes me. I love that there are so many different districts that offer something no other city can. Separate they all have their own little quirks and local spots, but together they make up this city; they make it so unique. I love that I can walk down one street and see 5 coffee shops, the next street a mob of people in front of large shopping centers, that I can pass by windows in Chinatown and see dead ducks hanging while hearing Russian from someone next to me; I love the sound that a Clipper card makes when being scanned on the bus, the small parks, the hiking trails, the huge buildings, the hills, the fact that cars have to park at a 90 degree angle in order not to roll down. A longing, a loving, a passion stirs inside me for this city. I long to be a light, to be a voice, to be the salt. I long to pour out love in the simplest forms of a smile, a conversation and a granola bar. I can't escape this growing passion, it has captured my soul. I can't run from the faces I've seen, the people I've met, the stories I've heard. I want to be here, I want to be home.
In other news, I spent Friday night baking another Texas Sheet Cake, except this time I actually grasped the concept of why it's called a sheet cake, you bake it in a cookie sheet! whoa. hold up. Then I made blueberry muffins at Sheldon's begging, pleading request. Let's just say that I went to bed covered in flour and a mixture of baking powder. Mmm Mmm good.
Saturday, Kristyn, Rachel, Mandi and I went over to Lands End (again) and hiked the Sutro Bath ruins and the labyrinth. I was feeling the Presidio and possibly the bridge as well, however they were feeling food more. It was a good 85 out. Yes you read that correctly, 85 in SF. We took the 1 down and cut through Chinatown to North Beach and went to this amazing Italian deli (like the little whole in the wall ones with meats hanging from the ceiling) to get sandwiches. Then we went to Washington Square Park (which definitely has the feel of Dolores Park, however a bit smaller and it lacks that oh so pleasant odor of weed drifting around). Mandi and I left Kristyn and Rachel there and we went back to her apartment.
It's been so amazing to see how God places certain people in your life for a reason. I've barely known Mandi for 3 months, and now we're rooming together for part of the summer. We've also found that we're alike in sooo many ways and the conversation just comes naturally. I love when God places people like this in my life, I become so overwhelmed by His goodness and blessings. It was surreal to hang out at her apartment and think that I'll be living there in just a few weeks. With the warm weather outside, it already felt like summer and it was hard to come to terms with the fact that I needed to go back to the house and do homework before work the next day.
Tonight, we had our final 'community worship'. This turned into a time of many many laughs remembering our times together and quite a few tears as we think about the reality that is facing us very, very soon. We all went around and talked about our favorite moments with each other. It was truly a time to recognize how everyone fit into this house, into this family. I can't imagine leaving, I can't imagine waking up and going down to the kitchen and not seeing David grinding his coffee, or hearing Vroselyn's laugh echoing through the house or Sheldon cooking some new concoction in the kitchen, or Maddie sitting behind her computer when I come through the door, or Katie scrubbing away at the stove and unloading the dishwasher, or Carter forgetting her key and ringing the doorbell, or Tia catapulting herself onto her bed every night, or Kristyn getting low in the kitchen to some ghetto music, or Rachel slowly walking downstairs minutes before class in her sweats and her hair going everywhere, or Natasha laughing from across the dining room table from me at work, not realizing that her music is blaring from her earphones. We've become so close.
I think about all of the change that's been taking place at Westmont and of everyone moving out very soon and I can't imagine having been there this semester. It just doesn't feel right. I found such a beautiful place here, and it's going to be painful to leave.
Home. I mentioned this in my last post, but I can't seem to get it out of my mind. It feels normal to be here, it feels right, it feels like home. I love that everyday proposes a new adventure, a sense of mystery and excitement. There are so many hidden aspects to this city it amazes me. I love that there are so many different districts that offer something no other city can. Separate they all have their own little quirks and local spots, but together they make up this city; they make it so unique. I love that I can walk down one street and see 5 coffee shops, the next street a mob of people in front of large shopping centers, that I can pass by windows in Chinatown and see dead ducks hanging while hearing Russian from someone next to me; I love the sound that a Clipper card makes when being scanned on the bus, the small parks, the hiking trails, the huge buildings, the hills, the fact that cars have to park at a 90 degree angle in order not to roll down. A longing, a loving, a passion stirs inside me for this city. I long to be a light, to be a voice, to be the salt. I long to pour out love in the simplest forms of a smile, a conversation and a granola bar. I can't escape this growing passion, it has captured my soul. I can't run from the faces I've seen, the people I've met, the stories I've heard. I want to be here, I want to be home.
Friday, April 20, 2012
SBIC, the plague and 2nd decade
12 days left?! no, No, NO! *sigh* good thing I'm coming back very soon :)
So I know, it's been hecka long. Like over a month...my apologies, it's been crazy, amazingly busy up here.
SBIC--
LOVE the group that came up here and it was so nice to see my beautiful sisters Paige and Mo leading the trip. Spring Break was pretty crazy. A group from Gonzaga University came and stayed at the Urban House as they were doing an 'alternative spring break trip'. So with Maddie gone I was in charge of keeping the parties to a minimum and making sure the house didn't burn down. Then only half of my house left for the week, so I was trying to juggle hanging out with SBIC, being on call for Gonzaga when they got locked out (they did, many times) and spending time with the housemates. Let's just say I didn't sleep much (then again when do I ever?). But it was great, I wouldn't have changed anything.
While SBIC was here, we spent some time at City Team (an addiction recovery center for men) cleaning everything as their guys had left on a retreat; we went to Alpha Pregnancy Center (a pro-life stance, non-profit organization that recognizes that the greatest reason for abortions are due to finances). I loved this place! They offer classes for parenting, bible studies, counseling sessions, post-abortion classes and marriage classes. They also provide diapers, formula, baby clothes, cribs, etc. for families. I loved that they hold a pro-life stance, however they never turn away a woman that is considering to have an abortion. They also inform the women of what actually happens during an abortion, something that doctors don't typically share before they perform this. We had some great discussions and were able to help Alpha out by packaging diapers, organizing clothes and cleaning.
We went to Old Skool Cafe (which is now open for business 4 nights a week! yay!) and due to the pouring down rain (ALL week) we couldn't do too many projects that Teresa wanted us to do outdoors. However, Paige, Nikki, Mo, Danielle and I decided to go out in the rain anyways and weed Teresa's garden for 3 hours. SO MUCH FUN! My 4 layers were completely soaked through and we were all covered in mud by the end, however the garden turned out great and now they can start planted strawberries and mint to use at Old Skool. It was so great being able to spend more time with Raymond, Robbie and Mandi that work at Outpost. We've definitely become a lot closer :)
I had to do some therapeutic baking when they all left :(
So I know, it's been hecka long. Like over a month...my apologies, it's been crazy, amazingly busy up here.
SBIC--
LOVE the group that came up here and it was so nice to see my beautiful sisters Paige and Mo leading the trip. Spring Break was pretty crazy. A group from Gonzaga University came and stayed at the Urban House as they were doing an 'alternative spring break trip'. So with Maddie gone I was in charge of keeping the parties to a minimum and making sure the house didn't burn down. Then only half of my house left for the week, so I was trying to juggle hanging out with SBIC, being on call for Gonzaga when they got locked out (they did, many times) and spending time with the housemates. Let's just say I didn't sleep much (then again when do I ever?). But it was great, I wouldn't have changed anything.
 |
| Window washing! |
While SBIC was here, we spent some time at City Team (an addiction recovery center for men) cleaning everything as their guys had left on a retreat; we went to Alpha Pregnancy Center (a pro-life stance, non-profit organization that recognizes that the greatest reason for abortions are due to finances). I loved this place! They offer classes for parenting, bible studies, counseling sessions, post-abortion classes and marriage classes. They also provide diapers, formula, baby clothes, cribs, etc. for families. I loved that they hold a pro-life stance, however they never turn away a woman that is considering to have an abortion. They also inform the women of what actually happens during an abortion, something that doctors don't typically share before they perform this. We had some great discussions and were able to help Alpha out by packaging diapers, organizing clothes and cleaning.
 |
| Mo trying to tackle some diapers. |
We went to Old Skool Cafe (which is now open for business 4 nights a week! yay!) and due to the pouring down rain (ALL week) we couldn't do too many projects that Teresa wanted us to do outdoors. However, Paige, Nikki, Mo, Danielle and I decided to go out in the rain anyways and weed Teresa's garden for 3 hours. SO MUCH FUN! My 4 layers were completely soaked through and we were all covered in mud by the end, however the garden turned out great and now they can start planted strawberries and mint to use at Old Skool. It was so great being able to spend more time with Raymond, Robbie and Mandi that work at Outpost. We've definitely become a lot closer :)
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| The kids formed their own worship team :) |
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| Silas' birthday! |
The Plague--
So we all knew that it was bound to happen. Lo and behold, I got sick. The week after spring break was hecka busy with school work, we had 4 papers due ( I know, whoa, hold up there). So about Wednesday I started going downhill, then by the weekend I was at my worst. I ended up having a sinus infection and some crazy lower back pain, along with a lot of weird symptoms. 2 weeks, a lot of pain killers and antibiotics plus an ER trip and a doctor visit later, I'm good to go :)
I did manage to watch both High School Musical 1 & 2 during that time. Oh Zac Efron and your awkward solo on the golf course running around jumping off rocks.
2nd Decade--
I hit the big Two Oh! a few weeks ago.
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| Quickly, I'm obsessed. |
Michelle Obama came to town for my special day as well...
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| No seriously, that's her car RIGHT there. |
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| Got one of these babies for next year. |
On another note, I have completely fallen in love with this city.
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| When the sun comes out... |
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| Labyrinth at Lands End |
And the housemates haven't been half bad either. :)
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| Half Moon Bay with Kristyn |
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| Bus Stop games: Rachel, Katie, Kristyn, David and Maddie |
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| Haitian Dinner prepared by Vroselyn and her sisters |
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| Half Moon Bay- Rachel and Kristyn |
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| Natasha hanging off the roof. |
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| TARTINE with the matching hipsters |
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| Giants Game! Maddie, David, Kelsey and me. |
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| Kristyn, Vroselyn and I! |
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| I've become a coffee snob. Not ashamed though. |
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| Oreo Truffles and Texas Sheet Cake for Natasha's bday. |
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| White chocolate chunk craisin oatmeal cookies |
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| Research Project |
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| Someone left their pants in front of the house... |
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| Kombucha Brewery Tour!
So now that these pictures have given you the inside to my busyness, here's some words to tell you what's going on now.
SBIC was amazing and I really felt God revamping my passion for 6th Street. I've been praying about this a lot and I've decided to do an internship with The Outpost Church and CityCrossroads for a month this summer! It's going to be a crazy busy summer, but that's exactly how I want it. :)
I went home for Easter, for less than 2 days, and I can't even begin to describe how weird it felt. I didn't hear cars or sirens, the water tasted different, the air felt different, I couldn't compost or recycle anything... I got to thinking about how little my home really felt like 'home'. I've realized how much more this city feels like home to me. I feel alive here, I feel happy here, I feel God here. I struggled with this for awhile, of how walking down 6th street amidst the strong smells of urine and the profanity being thrown all around me, feels more at home than Orange County. I feel like salt on this street, I see a brightness coming from me. I've never seen this at home.
I really feel called to this city, I'm not sure how this will play out in my future, but I trust that God has a place for me here, because this city has worn a very soft spot in my heart.
It's going to be hard leaving the communities I've formed here. My housemates, my community group through Reality and everyone from the Outpost.
These last two weeks I know are going to fly, but I pray that I can soak in as much as possible.
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Wednesday, March 7, 2012
voulez vous, crab bib capes and Wheaton pancake chaos
(My apologies on the lack of pictures in the last post and the delay of this post, I had it finished on Wednesday, and then busyness set in.)
Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight, won't somebody help me chase the shadows away.
Yup. Mamma Mia! Well I guess to be technical it's ABBA...
The Clunie House Crew went to see it last Friday night. Awesome. I'm not a huge fan of Amanda Seyfried in the movie Mamma Mia, mostly due to the fact that her role as Karen Smith will forever be implanted in my mind. However, this performance was amazing.
The best part was the ending when the cast did a little encore and the whole audience sang along. There was an Asian mom in front of us that stood up and danced proudly with her arms waving around in the air as her 12 year old daughter sat next to her mortified. Role model right there.
keeping it classy at the theatre!
I went to an art exhibit on Saturday with Katie and Kristyn at USF. It was on Richar Kamler who has done many social and political activist pieces. He worked at San Quentin Prison teaching art to the inmates, which is what most of his art is based on. A few pieces had the drawing of a person on a large sheet of paper and the letters that inmates wrote to their family members before they were executed were written over the drawing. It was moving to read these letters and to hear the voices of the men that Kamler worked with.
(close up of artwork above)
Saturday night, I partied it up with The Outpost church for a Crab dinner fundraiser for CityCrossroads. So much fun. They sold t-shirts and artwork done by the youth and by Cameron. They also raffled off a flat screen TV and an iPod. (I bought a raffle ticket to try and win the TV for Vroselyn, as she rants everyday about our need for a TV in this house. No luck)
Silas's 'Crab Bib Cape'
However I did get a shirt and one of Cameron's art pieces. STOKED about this piece. It says 'Rebirth'.
Work's been pretty busy, as we're still trying to get donations for the gala and promote it as much as possible. I've had to do a lot of work on facebook and twitter with our social media this week and last. What I've realized: I really don't like facebook. No regrets on deleting that. Incase you wanted to check out what all's going on with Freedom House check out their website. Oh and I made a QR this week. NBD.
Tuesday night was my turn to cook dinner for the house (yay!). Rachel and I decided that we were going to make 'Brinner'. Pancakes, sausage, bacon, eggs, hashbrowns and muffins. About 5 hours before dinner, we were informed that Wheaton College's Spring Break group (like SBIC) were going to be joining us. So we went from cooking for 12...to 30. (yikes!) Let's just say that there were eggshells, pancake batter, bacon grease and potatoes everywhere. I probably made around 70 pancakes. Definitely pro now.
The group was really cool to talk with though. I asked them about 'Wheaton traditions' and they told me about their dorm raids and streaking through the snow. They have assigned seating in Chapel too! Great stuff, cool guys. We still have a ton of batter leftover.
Gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight, won't somebody help me chase the shadows away.
Yup. Mamma Mia! Well I guess to be technical it's ABBA...
The Clunie House Crew went to see it last Friday night. Awesome. I'm not a huge fan of Amanda Seyfried in the movie Mamma Mia, mostly due to the fact that her role as Karen Smith will forever be implanted in my mind. However, this performance was amazing.
The best part was the ending when the cast did a little encore and the whole audience sang along. There was an Asian mom in front of us that stood up and danced proudly with her arms waving around in the air as her 12 year old daughter sat next to her mortified. Role model right there.
I went to an art exhibit on Saturday with Katie and Kristyn at USF. It was on Richar Kamler who has done many social and political activist pieces. He worked at San Quentin Prison teaching art to the inmates, which is what most of his art is based on. A few pieces had the drawing of a person on a large sheet of paper and the letters that inmates wrote to their family members before they were executed were written over the drawing. It was moving to read these letters and to hear the voices of the men that Kamler worked with.
Saturday night, I partied it up with The Outpost church for a Crab dinner fundraiser for CityCrossroads. So much fun. They sold t-shirts and artwork done by the youth and by Cameron. They also raffled off a flat screen TV and an iPod. (I bought a raffle ticket to try and win the TV for Vroselyn, as she rants everyday about our need for a TV in this house. No luck)
Silas's 'Crab Bib Cape'
However I did get a shirt and one of Cameron's art pieces. STOKED about this piece. It says 'Rebirth'.
Work's been pretty busy, as we're still trying to get donations for the gala and promote it as much as possible. I've had to do a lot of work on facebook and twitter with our social media this week and last. What I've realized: I really don't like facebook. No regrets on deleting that. Incase you wanted to check out what all's going on with Freedom House check out their website. Oh and I made a QR this week. NBD.
Tuesday night was my turn to cook dinner for the house (yay!). Rachel and I decided that we were going to make 'Brinner'. Pancakes, sausage, bacon, eggs, hashbrowns and muffins. About 5 hours before dinner, we were informed that Wheaton College's Spring Break group (like SBIC) were going to be joining us. So we went from cooking for 12...to 30. (yikes!) Let's just say that there were eggshells, pancake batter, bacon grease and potatoes everywhere. I probably made around 70 pancakes. Definitely pro now.
The group was really cool to talk with though. I asked them about 'Wheaton traditions' and they told me about their dorm raids and streaking through the snow. They have assigned seating in Chapel too! Great stuff, cool guys. We still have a ton of batter leftover.
I worked at home last Friday (that sounds so grown-up). It's a pretty sweet deal, not waking up at 6 or making the 3 hour round trip commute. I went to a super cute coffee shop right down the street that I had never paid attention to before. They had random art pieces in it, these super cute mugs (below), mocha chai (new fav) and an upstairs!
Monday, February 27, 2012
surrender, tears and community
I had a dream last night that I was back at Westmont, surprising everyone right before Commencement. Of course, in my dreams the places never look like they do in real life. Westmont was darker and had a lot more buildings. I ran and ran, trying to get to Emerson to see Claire before she left. Naturally this was that super slow, my legs won't move fast enough running that you only experience in your dreams. After so many hugs and laughs from so many beautiful sisters that I miss sincerely, I woke up to the rain pouring down outside my window and tears on my pillow.
I still can't quite wrap my head around the fact that everyone's still at Westmont, taking classes, continuing to go through the busyness over there. I've voiced this before, and I will again, it's like I'm in a different world up here.
Last week, Brad Berky told me that we had the minimum number of students confirmed for the Mayterm and he wouldn't get the 'okay' until the end of the week. I didn't feel too concerned, I thought hey, God changed my parents' hearts and provided the finances in a matter of a day, He can do anything to make this trip happen. But to tell you the truth, I couldn't picture myself in Thailand in May. I don't know why, I just couldn't, I just had this feeling.
I lifted up the trip to God, I lifted it up while I was running, while I was working, while I was in class. I knew He could make it happen, but I also knew to pray for His will.
I was eating breakfast before class last week and knowing that I'd receive the answer at the end of the day, I lifted the trip up once more, just asking God for a yes or a no. Just then, one of the women in my house came running up to me, she threw her arms around me and sobbed, saying, 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.' She didn't have to explain, I knew what she meant. Her parents weren't going to financially support her for the Mayterm, we wouldn't have enough students to go.
A calmness came over me. I realized that the feeling I had before was God saying 'no, not now. This isn't my timing.'
So the trip's cancelled, but Brad's looking into having it for next Mayterm.
Surrender.
As easy as it sounds to let it all go, it's so hard. Having a dream of going and learning more about what I'm passionate about, seeing God move in my life to open doors back up that had been shut, only to shut the largest door closed again and trusting that He has a greater reason for this...it's hard.
But this week I surrender. I want God's timing in my life, not mine.
Tears.
I love my housemates. We're all so different, with such vibrant personalities but we all fit together beautifully, like a puzzle. We're definitely a family and am so thankful for each of them in my life. On Monday night, we had community worship in Maddie's room. 11 of us, sprawled out on her floor and bed, in a circle. We listened as Tia gave her testimony. I'm not sure if you know Tia or anything about her past, but it's one of great brokenness, abuse, hurt and loss. While it seemed too much like a movie, so unreal with tragedy after tragedy, there was a light behind every obstacle. Tia's story is such a beautiful example of God's grace and Tia herself is a vibrant example of God's love and light. All of us were touched by her story that night. We were moved to tears, and as Sheldon closed us in prayer, a strong bond formed between us and God's presence was strongly felt in that room. Tears. Not of sorrow or pain, but of joy, of blessings because this sister is in our life and is impacting it everyday.
Community.
I've been telling a few people that I'm 'super busy up here, but non-academically busy'. Lex jokingly pointed out that there's nothing new with that. So true.
I love the Outpost Church, serving at CityCrossroads and forming relationships with everyone in the Bible study there.
I love Reality SF, it has so much more of an intimate feel than SB. My community group is amazing, and I love that it's gotten to the point where I'm familiar with everyone now and in on the inside jokes. It feels like I belong...well it feels like a real community.
"When you look at the inner workings of electrical things, you see wires. Until the current passes through them, there will be no light. That wire is you and me. The current is God. We have the power to let the current pass through us, use us, to produce light of the world, Jesus, in us. Or we can refuse to be used and allow darkness to spread." -Mother Teresa
I pray that you choose everyday to produce light to the world.
I still can't quite wrap my head around the fact that everyone's still at Westmont, taking classes, continuing to go through the busyness over there. I've voiced this before, and I will again, it's like I'm in a different world up here.
Last week, Brad Berky told me that we had the minimum number of students confirmed for the Mayterm and he wouldn't get the 'okay' until the end of the week. I didn't feel too concerned, I thought hey, God changed my parents' hearts and provided the finances in a matter of a day, He can do anything to make this trip happen. But to tell you the truth, I couldn't picture myself in Thailand in May. I don't know why, I just couldn't, I just had this feeling.
I lifted up the trip to God, I lifted it up while I was running, while I was working, while I was in class. I knew He could make it happen, but I also knew to pray for His will.
I was eating breakfast before class last week and knowing that I'd receive the answer at the end of the day, I lifted the trip up once more, just asking God for a yes or a no. Just then, one of the women in my house came running up to me, she threw her arms around me and sobbed, saying, 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.' She didn't have to explain, I knew what she meant. Her parents weren't going to financially support her for the Mayterm, we wouldn't have enough students to go.
A calmness came over me. I realized that the feeling I had before was God saying 'no, not now. This isn't my timing.'
So the trip's cancelled, but Brad's looking into having it for next Mayterm.
Surrender.
As easy as it sounds to let it all go, it's so hard. Having a dream of going and learning more about what I'm passionate about, seeing God move in my life to open doors back up that had been shut, only to shut the largest door closed again and trusting that He has a greater reason for this...it's hard.
But this week I surrender. I want God's timing in my life, not mine.
Tears.
I love my housemates. We're all so different, with such vibrant personalities but we all fit together beautifully, like a puzzle. We're definitely a family and am so thankful for each of them in my life. On Monday night, we had community worship in Maddie's room. 11 of us, sprawled out on her floor and bed, in a circle. We listened as Tia gave her testimony. I'm not sure if you know Tia or anything about her past, but it's one of great brokenness, abuse, hurt and loss. While it seemed too much like a movie, so unreal with tragedy after tragedy, there was a light behind every obstacle. Tia's story is such a beautiful example of God's grace and Tia herself is a vibrant example of God's love and light. All of us were touched by her story that night. We were moved to tears, and as Sheldon closed us in prayer, a strong bond formed between us and God's presence was strongly felt in that room. Tears. Not of sorrow or pain, but of joy, of blessings because this sister is in our life and is impacting it everyday.
Community.
I've been telling a few people that I'm 'super busy up here, but non-academically busy'. Lex jokingly pointed out that there's nothing new with that. So true.
I love the Outpost Church, serving at CityCrossroads and forming relationships with everyone in the Bible study there.
I love Reality SF, it has so much more of an intimate feel than SB. My community group is amazing, and I love that it's gotten to the point where I'm familiar with everyone now and in on the inside jokes. It feels like I belong...well it feels like a real community.
"When you look at the inner workings of electrical things, you see wires. Until the current passes through them, there will be no light. That wire is you and me. The current is God. We have the power to let the current pass through us, use us, to produce light of the world, Jesus, in us. Or we can refuse to be used and allow darkness to spread." -Mother Teresa
I pray that you choose everyday to produce light to the world.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
hanging off cable cars under the stars, anteaters and ashes
These weeks are just flying, but oh so much happens everyday.
Last Friday, I found out that I was accepted to be an RA for Clark next year. Heyyyooooh!
I can't express how pumped I am to see where God's going to take me for another year in good ol' Clark. I'm anxiously awaiting to hear what section I'll be assigned to. I've already been brainstorming door decs, section events and oh my goodness I cannot wait to get to know 30 new women! STOKED!
Friday night, my community group had a 'film night' as Charlie calls it. We watched 'Centerstage' and ate pizza and cookies and I baked some Snickerdoodle cupcakes with vanilla bean icing from scratch to take over. (be impressed and disappointed that you're not up here to sample this amazing stuff)
Saturday, the rentals came up. We did the whole tourist scene at Fisherman's Wharf and went to the Marina.
That night, I was walking upstairs from the basement and ran into Sara Chao who was on the program last semester. She's a senior at Westmont, I've never seen her before in my life, but we got to talking, made some tea then she asked me if I wanted to go ride the cable cars.
So there we went, around 9:30, riding the cable cars up and down the hills of San Francisco with the freezing wind blowing on our faces as we dangled off the sides. I can't express how cool this experience was, with one foot on the side of the cable car, one arm wrapped around the bar and the rest of me hanging into the street with the wind blowing through my hair and the Bay Bridge alight in the distance. so breathtaking. We stopped at Grace Cathedral (on one of my earlier posts, in Nob Hill) and she showed me that they had a labyrinth outside next to it. Can I just say a labyrinth at night is one of my new found favorite things? Definitely going back ASAP.
And if you don't know Sara Chao, go find her, she's pretty great.
Sunday- I took the parents to Reality, then to Irving Street Cafe, the zoo, the mall and a steakhouse. On the topic of anteaters, have you ever seen one? Not like a cartoon one, like in real life. Such strange looking animals.
That night I spent some quality time in the laundry room working on homework, as there were far too many people in the house (8 extra people for the weekend). I thank God everyday that I'm on a semester with only 10, my introverted self would not have been able to deal with 25 other people roaming around. Anyways, laundry room. I love the smell of clean laundry, and the rumbling sound of the machines operating, perfect homework spot for sure.
Monday, breakfast with the parents, then I took off on my own adventure once they left. I went to Goodwill in downtown and found some sweet deals. 2 VHS's for the house, a book called 'The Quotable Saint', a coffee mug and a member's only jacket all for $11.45. Then I found a pair of nike free running shoes on my walk home. I know, I know, used running shoes sitting on the side of the road, gross Jessica! No hear me out. They're in super good condition, they're blue and they're only 1/2 a size too big. I washed them on heavy duty and put a ton of Tide in, so they look pretty darn new. So if you're still grossed out, oh well. Awesome find as those shoes run close to $100. Got to love SF 'freebies' on every corner.
Tia and I went to see a movie at the Roxie. It was called 'Without', for the SF Independent Film Festival. It was interesting. We went to Mitchell's afterwards, this amazing ice cream place in Bernal Heights.
Tuesday all the busyness of the weekend caught up to me and I got sick. blah. I did manage to grab breakfast with Kristyn, Katie and Rachel around 11. Chai latte, chocolate croissant and granola from this french cafe in Hayes Valley, La Boulange Bakery. yum.
Then I slept until 6pm, but don't worry, I feel great today :)
Wednesday.
For those of you who didn't go to Chapel today and are out of the Christian community bubble, it's Ash Wednesday. I went to a service this morning with Maddie, Kelsey and David at 7:30. It's been awhile since I've been to a Catholic church service, but it was a great way to start the season of Lent with this liturgical, structured service and with the reminder of ashes placed on my forehead.
So this year for Lent, I'm following a devotional that Not For Sale has created. I found out about it from this amazing woman, Saskia, that stayed at the house the first week we were here. She works for NFS in Amsterdam. Anywho, here's the plan if you're interested, I know it'll be a struggle, but a good one. :) Oh and Saskia's blog is also something I recommend checking out.
Today's devotional addresses Isaiah 58 on 'True Fasting' and I just wanted to share this part that Eddie Byun says:
"In God’s eyes, true fasting happens when
we give up our right to take care of ourselves by taking care of those who are oppressed
and in need. True biblical fasting is giving up the bread I would have eaten, and instead,
giving that bread to the hungry. The fast that pleases God is when we use our freedom to
fight for the freedom and justice of others. The greater blessings of God await those who
learn that true fasting is about loving God and others."
I really miss chapel, honestly.
"Now I can trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross."
All day, that's been stuck in my head. Lauren Martin, I'm dying to hear you sing it.
Whether you participate in Lent or not, I hope you take the time this season to prepare your heart for what God has planned for you.
This past week, I've really been taking in opportunities to explore and just people watch. I love people watching. The Sociologist in me comes out too often in this area. Often times, when I know I have time to kill, I'll let my bus pass by (sometimes more than once) and just watch the people walking by or the people sitting near me. We had to write a paper for English last week, and mine has to do with one of my experiences:
Last Friday, I found out that I was accepted to be an RA for Clark next year. Heyyyooooh!
I can't express how pumped I am to see where God's going to take me for another year in good ol' Clark. I'm anxiously awaiting to hear what section I'll be assigned to. I've already been brainstorming door decs, section events and oh my goodness I cannot wait to get to know 30 new women! STOKED!
Friday night, my community group had a 'film night' as Charlie calls it. We watched 'Centerstage' and ate pizza and cookies and I baked some Snickerdoodle cupcakes with vanilla bean icing from scratch to take over. (be impressed and disappointed that you're not up here to sample this amazing stuff)
Saturday, the rentals came up. We did the whole tourist scene at Fisherman's Wharf and went to the Marina.
That night, I was walking upstairs from the basement and ran into Sara Chao who was on the program last semester. She's a senior at Westmont, I've never seen her before in my life, but we got to talking, made some tea then she asked me if I wanted to go ride the cable cars.
So there we went, around 9:30, riding the cable cars up and down the hills of San Francisco with the freezing wind blowing on our faces as we dangled off the sides. I can't express how cool this experience was, with one foot on the side of the cable car, one arm wrapped around the bar and the rest of me hanging into the street with the wind blowing through my hair and the Bay Bridge alight in the distance. so breathtaking. We stopped at Grace Cathedral (on one of my earlier posts, in Nob Hill) and she showed me that they had a labyrinth outside next to it. Can I just say a labyrinth at night is one of my new found favorite things? Definitely going back ASAP.
And if you don't know Sara Chao, go find her, she's pretty great.
Sunday- I took the parents to Reality, then to Irving Street Cafe, the zoo, the mall and a steakhouse. On the topic of anteaters, have you ever seen one? Not like a cartoon one, like in real life. Such strange looking animals.
That night I spent some quality time in the laundry room working on homework, as there were far too many people in the house (8 extra people for the weekend). I thank God everyday that I'm on a semester with only 10, my introverted self would not have been able to deal with 25 other people roaming around. Anyways, laundry room. I love the smell of clean laundry, and the rumbling sound of the machines operating, perfect homework spot for sure.
Monday, breakfast with the parents, then I took off on my own adventure once they left. I went to Goodwill in downtown and found some sweet deals. 2 VHS's for the house, a book called 'The Quotable Saint', a coffee mug and a member's only jacket all for $11.45. Then I found a pair of nike free running shoes on my walk home. I know, I know, used running shoes sitting on the side of the road, gross Jessica! No hear me out. They're in super good condition, they're blue and they're only 1/2 a size too big. I washed them on heavy duty and put a ton of Tide in, so they look pretty darn new. So if you're still grossed out, oh well. Awesome find as those shoes run close to $100. Got to love SF 'freebies' on every corner.
Tia and I went to see a movie at the Roxie. It was called 'Without', for the SF Independent Film Festival. It was interesting. We went to Mitchell's afterwards, this amazing ice cream place in Bernal Heights.
Tuesday all the busyness of the weekend caught up to me and I got sick. blah. I did manage to grab breakfast with Kristyn, Katie and Rachel around 11. Chai latte, chocolate croissant and granola from this french cafe in Hayes Valley, La Boulange Bakery. yum.
Then I slept until 6pm, but don't worry, I feel great today :)
Wednesday.
For those of you who didn't go to Chapel today and are out of the Christian community bubble, it's Ash Wednesday. I went to a service this morning with Maddie, Kelsey and David at 7:30. It's been awhile since I've been to a Catholic church service, but it was a great way to start the season of Lent with this liturgical, structured service and with the reminder of ashes placed on my forehead.
So this year for Lent, I'm following a devotional that Not For Sale has created. I found out about it from this amazing woman, Saskia, that stayed at the house the first week we were here. She works for NFS in Amsterdam. Anywho, here's the plan if you're interested, I know it'll be a struggle, but a good one. :) Oh and Saskia's blog is also something I recommend checking out.
Today's devotional addresses Isaiah 58 on 'True Fasting' and I just wanted to share this part that Eddie Byun says:
"In God’s eyes, true fasting happens when
we give up our right to take care of ourselves by taking care of those who are oppressed
and in need. True biblical fasting is giving up the bread I would have eaten, and instead,
giving that bread to the hungry. The fast that pleases God is when we use our freedom to
fight for the freedom and justice of others. The greater blessings of God await those who
learn that true fasting is about loving God and others."
I really miss chapel, honestly.
"Now I can trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross."
All day, that's been stuck in my head. Lauren Martin, I'm dying to hear you sing it.
Whether you participate in Lent or not, I hope you take the time this season to prepare your heart for what God has planned for you.
This past week, I've really been taking in opportunities to explore and just people watch. I love people watching. The Sociologist in me comes out too often in this area. Often times, when I know I have time to kill, I'll let my bus pass by (sometimes more than once) and just watch the people walking by or the people sitting near me. We had to write a paper for English last week, and mine has to do with one of my experiences:
The Bart Station
Grey, cold cement encompasses the long narrow platform. They wait. Scattered about on benches, leaning against poles, holding up walls. Standing, sitting, shaking; silently, they wait. Cigarettes are lit, smoke engulfs the air. It billows up, then down and disappears. They stand next to each other, share the same bench, bags touch, yet distance has never been greater between them. A humming comes from down the platform, the ground begins to shake, an ear splitting rumble consumes the air. Yet no one looks up. Heads stay bent, focused on the object in their hands. Glazed faces, deep dark eyeliner, pale skin, downturned mouths. Hours, weeks, years appear in their faces. A past not yet told, but so clearly felt. An unspoken weariness takes over. A thick blanket of stillness encloses the air as time slows, as thoughts form behind dark eyes. They sit, they stand, they stare. Silence.
Dark coats, jackets, bags, shoes. A blur of neutral tones: blacks, browns, beige, tan, navy. A yellow hat catches the attention in this sea of gloom. Tattered, worn and stained with a stripe of brown across the top, it bobs in between large black umbrellas, floating across strong currents of heavy raindrops, drowning beneath the weight of darkness, then pulling towards the surface, like a light in an abyss. Carts, suitcases, oversized bags, backpacks strewn over laps. Wheels rattle on the rocky sidewalk as belongings are dragged after feet running. The stillness is consumed by the rush of time, the flash of reality approaching, the weight being lifted from the air. The Bart accelerates toward the station, rumbling the tracks as car after car pass by. A stream of silver and black rush past. Behind the glass they form a large blur. Dark coats, arms reaching for dark bags. Faces begin to form as the vibrations taking hold of the ground soften and the cars lurch to an abrupt stop. They file out, pushing, moving in haste towards the platform, towards reality. Pigeons scatter, bringing a gush of wind sweeping over the cement block. Dirt, plastic wrappers and smoke fill the air. Their feet flock after a departing bus.
One of them stares, not moving. Sitting, watching the collision of feet, wheels and boots along the concrete, funneling into the car ahead. He takes out a small bag of crackers and slowly raises his hand to his mouth. Chewing he takes a few more, scattering them onto the cement in front of him. The pigeons furiously flap their wings in desperation to come to the man’s feet. Pecking in haste at the crumbs offered on the cold cement.
The man rises to his feet, grabs his cart and pink umbrella and gradually makes his way to the departing bus.
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